


The Smell of Leather Jackets and Alcohol

by Sp00nhater



Category: Sander Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Beauty and the Beast, Deceit isn't the cutest dad, F/M, Fires, High School AU, History Project, Hospitals, I just love Roman and Virgil, Logan and Patton are the cutest dads, Lot's of angst, M/M, Patton spoils everyone, Picnic, Plot Twists, Roman needs a big hug, Slow Burn, Too many puns, Virgil needs an even bigger hug, Yes someone dies, a shit ton of disney, and you know what patton and logan need hugs too, basically just fuck deceit, but hes not one you like, but not one of the four favs, but then i make it angsty again, cliffhangers are a guarantee, i guess theres some fluff, its someone you dont like dont worry, literally its all a mess, literally this all starts because a history project tho, lots of puns, oh and i guess a character you do like dies but not a main side, roman also had an emo phase, roman is a hipster, theres lots of cursing, they also text, they eat pizza, towards the end, virgil gets kidnapped, virgil plays piano, yes a main character dies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-18 12:20:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 26
Words: 40,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14213034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sp00nhater/pseuds/Sp00nhater
Summary: Roman Prince comes from a nice, happy family. It's just him and his two dads, Logan and Patton Prince.Virgil Sanders comes from a poor, miserable family. Ever since his mother dies to "suicide", it's just been him and his father.What happens when Virgil and Roman are paired together for a school project and both of their lives change forever?Note: there are themes of abusive relationships, family disowning, self-deprecating thoughts, mental illness, gangs, murder, self-harm, and basically a lot of dark stuff. Like really, this is a super dark story. It does have a happy ending, but the journey there is rough. Trigger warnings will be at the beginning of every chapter, but please be careful reading this. Make sure to practice self-care before, after, and during!! If you can't read any part of this for any reason, just let me know and I can give you a summary.





	1. Partners

     He’s rich. He’s popular. He’s everything anyone would want to be. And I’m...well, I’m not. I’m everything anyone wouldn’t want to be. I’m a loner. I’m dirt poor. And for whatever fucking reason, the two of us are partnered together for this stupid history project. Which means we’ll have to talk. And work together. And present together. And if all that wasn’t bad enough, this project is literally 20% of our grade. The presentation is 5% of that. I’m going to fuck up Roman Prince’s grade. And he’ll hate me. And make my life worse than it alr-  
     “-gil, Virgil!” I jump at the sound of my name. I had gotten lost in thought and forgot we were in class. I guess the teacher is letting us work with our partners for the rest of class. Oh shit. Our partners. _The_ Roman Prince is sitting in front of me looking...worried?  
     “Um, sorry, lost my train of thought there,” he probably hates me now. How stupid could I be?  
     “It’s totally fine. Want to start working on the project now?”  
     “Yeah, that would be good.”  
     “Okay, so we have the choice of writing a paper, making a presentation, writing a song, or just filming a video. I’m just going to start by saying that I refuse to write a paper, so that’s off the list. I know you probably don’t want to present anything, so presentation is also off the list. I personally would love to write a song, but the choice is up to you.”  
     “Um, what?”  
     “Look, I figured that neither of us want to do this project, but we’ll be working on it for over a month and we might as well make it more pleasant, so what do you want to do?”  
     “I don’t really care-”  
     “Great, song it is then!” I sigh at his enthusiasm, anticipating the stress that this stupid project will cause for the next half an hour of class, what should our topic be? It has to be a not so popular part of history from the Renaissance till now.”  
     “That’s a lot of history.”  
     “Yeah, so let’s start with finding something we’re both interested in. I obviously love Theatre, music, dogs, food, and I’m gay, so you must connect with at least one of those.”  
     “That gay thing isn’t a bad idea actually.”  
     “What? Being gay isn’t a bad idea? Sorry to break it to you, but that’s not how that works. You don’t just decide to be gay.”  
     “No, you idiot. There is a lot of ignored LGBT+ history,” crap, what have I done. I just called Roman Prince an idiot. Oh, I’m in for it now.  
     “I am not an idiot! But that is a good idea. Only problem is that I don’t actually know much about LGBT+ history. Oh, I feel like a bad gay now!” I could feel my face heating up at Roman calling my idea a good one.  
     “Well, have you ever seen the movie _Pride_?”  
     “No, I’ve never heard of it. What’s it about?”  
     “It’s about a U.K. miner strike in 1984-1985. It’s a very interesting topic to study actually, but that’s not the main point. In America, there was a LGBT+ activist group that decided to help out a small town in Onllwyn, Wales. As a whole, the movie wasn’t entirely accurate, but it was based off of real events.”  
     “Oh, that sounds brilliant! Let’s definitely do that!” I blush again as Roman compliments me again. “Okay, so do you want to exchange phone numbers, so we can plan times to meet up and stuff?”  
     “Um, sure,” I pull out my old and cracked iPhone 4s and as Roman pulls out his iPhone 10, I feel like I’m going to die of embarrassment. “My phone’s a little old,” I mumble as I hand my phone to Roman, so he can type his number in.  
     “You certainly could say that again,” Roman snorted as he sent himself a text message. He handed me my phone back and the bell rang. Roman waved as he got up and walked off. I put my headphones in and walked out of the classroom a few moments later. It wasn’t until much later that afternoon that I got a text from Roman.  
     Roman: hey  
     Roman: so do u want to get together to work on submitting our topic sometime after school this week  
     Virgil: Yeah, that sounds cool. What days are you free?  
     Roman: i dont have rehearsal on thurs if ur cool with that  
     Virgil: Yeah, I can do that.  
     Roman: great thursday it is!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, new story y'all. Yay. I'll try to come up with a posting schedule but we'll see. I'm awful at sticking to schedules.  
> Like usual, here's my social media:  
> Instagram: Sam.cosplay  
> Snapchat: smilesdominate  
> Cool, bye.


	2. Library Get-Together

     I sit tapping my foot as I wait for Roman to show up. I had gotten a table in the very back of the library, more quiet and less people this way. Two minutes past the time he was supposed to be here, I hear the doors to the library open and I glance up to see Roman in his white jeans, flower tee, and his tan and red leather jacket with _Prince_ stitched into the back. He walks into the library and starts heading over after he spots me. He sits down with a flourish,

    “Hey, sorry I’m a bit late, my teacher kept us past the bell.”

    “It’s fine, wanna start working?”

    “Uh, yeah. So what all do we need for the topic submission papers?” We spend the next hour and half talking about the project and filling out the paperwork to choose our topic. As soon as we finish, Roman sighs and stands up.

    “I don’t know about you, but I am starved. Wanna go grab a quick dinner as a reward for all our hard work?”

    “Roman, we barely did anything today.”

    “I got out of bed this morning, that should be enough. Besides, treat yo self!”

    “I’ll pass.” 

    “Come on, I’ll pay!”

    “No, I’m not just some charity case.”

    “How about it’s my way of saying thanks for you doing most of the work today?”

    “Well then you’re just paying me to do your work.”

    “That does sound bad when you put it that way, but come on, it’ll be fun. And if we’re going to be working on a huge project together for the next month and a half, we may as well get to know each other better.”

    “I’m not letting you spend your money on me.”

    “Actually, it’s not even my own money. It’s my parents’. But they would be very disappointed in me if I didn’t feed you. They like making sure that everyone is taken care of.”

    “Okay, fine. But just this once.”

    “Yay! Where do you want to go?”

    “Uh, I don’t care. Your money, you decide.”

    “Okay, do you like pizza?”

    “I’ve never actually had pizza.”

    “Well that is a sin that I will not allow. I’m taking you to pizza.”

    “Oh-okay,”

    “Follow me, I’ll drive!” we both put our papers away and I follow Roman out of the school building and to the parking lot. He walks up to a bright red mustang, of course Roman would drive a mustang. And of course it’s bright red too. It’s literally the embodiment of Roman Prince as a car. I climb into the passenger seat and set my backpack on the floor of the car. As soon as I’m buckled, Roman zooms off of the school grounds. He pulls into a shopping center parking lot and expertly parks. We step out of the car and I follow Roman into a little pizza place. We find a table and within a few minutes, the waiter comes to get out orders. Roman orders a large plain cheese pizza for the two of us to share.

    “So, I know absolutely nothing about you.”

    “Yeah...and?”

    “Well, what’s your favourite thing to do in your free time?”

    “Um, probably listen to music, or write. I play piano too.”

    “Oh, how long have you played the piano for?”

    “Since I was 7. My grandmother taught me how. I don’t have a piano in my house though, so I don’t get to practice as much as I’d want to.”

    “Have you ever thought of playing for the school? For the theatre or chorus or something?”

    “Nah, I’m not _that_ good. It’s more of a hobby.”

    “I’m sure you’re amazing. You’ll have to play for me sometime.”

    “You don’t really want to hear me play, I’m really not good.”

    “Nonsense. I’ve never played a piano, so you’re better than me.”

    “Do you play any instruments?” I start to feel stressed about the amount of questions Roman is asking me, so I try to change the subject to him.

    “I actually do play ukulele, but only a little. I started playing two years ago.”

    “Of course you play the ukulele.”

    “What’s that supposed to mean?”

    “I don’t know, it just suits you?”

    “I’m very confused on what you’re trying to say right now.”

    “I think it was supposed to be a compliment.”

    “Okay then, thank you?”

    “Yeah, no problem.”

    “Anyways, what’s your favourite colour?”

    “It’s actually purple. But like a dark purple. And let me guess, your favourite colour is red?”

    “Of course it is, red is the colour of bravery!”

    “Are you just saying that because you’re a Gryffindor?”

    “Gryffindor is the best house.”

    “Says the Gryffindor.”

    “At least I’m not a Slytherin.”

    “Who says I’m a Slytherin?”

    “You’re just so...dark and edgy. Why wouldn’t you be a Slytherin?”

    “Cause I literally have no determination to do anything? Besides, being dark and edgy isn’t the qualification for being a Slytherin.”

   “I guess you are right.”

   “Yeah. I am right,” before an awkward tension can set in, the waiter comes back with a tray full of steaming pizza. He sets it down in the middle of the table and leaves. Roman hungrily grabs a slice and takes a bite. He looks at me expectantly as he finishes his first bite.

    “Well, go ahead and eat some,” he watches me as I pick up a slice and take a bite. I soon as I taste it, I let out a moan of surprise. It’s so good. It’s an explosion of flavour and amazingness in one bite. The perfect mix of cheese and bread and tomato sauce. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything close to as good. Then again, I never really eat food that’s all that good.”

    “It’s great, isn’t it?”

    “Great? This is the best food I’ve ever eaten!”

    “I’m glad you like it then,” Roman laughs as I continue to stuff the rest of the slice into my mouth. I’ve found my new favourite food, for sure.

    We spend a while at the pizza place just talking and eating before we decide to leave.

     “Do you have a car at the school? I can drive you back to the school if you need.”

     “No, I live pretty close to here so I’ll just walk.”

     “Are you sure?”

    “Yeah, it’s fine. I’ll see you later, alright?”

    “Yeah, bye Virgil,” he walks to his car and I start walking to my house with a small smile on my face. Social interaction of any sort has never left me feeling this content. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this content. Maybe this project won’t be so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyyy look at me uploading something when I told myself I was going, that's a first.  
> Anyways, I hope chapter two was okay.  
> But just as a warning, I'm in my school's theatre production of Phantom of the Opera, so uploading may be slow until after it's all over in May.


	3. A Worrying Conversation

_ Friday, 10:32am _

    Roman: hey!

    Roman: our topic was approved!

    Virgil: That’s great, wanna start working on it soon then?

    Virgil: What times are you free?

    Roman: well i have theatre rehearsal after school today a party later tonight sun r my family days so sun is a no but i should be free all of sat

    Virgil: I can do Saturday afternoon.

    Roman: where do u wanna meet then

    Virgil: I can do your house, the library, the school, or basically anywhere except my house.

    Roman: wassup with ur house

    Virgil: It’s just not a nice house.

    Roman: im sure it looks fine

    Virgil: I mean, yes it does look like shit, but it’s more the people inside it. 

    Virgil: Sorry, I don’t know why I told you that. You don’t have to read that. 

    Virgil: Anyways, I’ve got to go now. 

    Virgil: Just give me a specific time and place and I’ll be there.

_ Friday, 11:03 _

    Roman: What’s wrong with the people in your house?

    Roman: Are you okay?

    Roman: Do you need me to do anything? Do you need me to tell anyone?

    Roman: Virgil?

_ Friday, 12:46 _

__ Roman: Virgil, you haven’t responded yet and I’m starting to get worried now. 

_ Friday, 2:18 _

__ Roman: Hey, I’m still worried but I figured I could at least send you a time and place. 

__ Roman: does the public library @ 3 work

    Roman: its a few blocks away from the school

 

    Ah crap, what have I done? I messed up big time. Why did I tell Roman Prince that. This is why I never talk to anyone. I always mess it up. The only reason he would care would be if he wanted to spread gossip. I can almost hear it now, ‘oh that kid, he’s just the weirdo who’s so awful his own dad beats him.’ Jesus I messed up. I don’t even know how to fix this. Roman is going to tell everyone and then my dad will find out that I messed up and everything is going to get worse. Why can’t life just be more simple. Fuck school. Fuck projects. Fuck Roman Prince and his fucking pizza. I take back what I said about this project maybe being okay. This is going to be awful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyyy, look at me updating one day ahead of schedule. I've had this one written and edited for a while since it's so short, but the next two chapters should be longer AND there'll be two more characters coming in soon...


	4. The Prince and The Villian

    I never responded to Roman. I avoided him all of Friday. Not like it’s hard to avoid him, he hangs out with all the popular kids and I don’t really hang out with anyone. Plus we only have history class together, which thankfully we didn’t have on Friday.

    How could I honestly have been so stupid as to tell Roman Prince that my house is not the best place? I’m usually so guarded. What happened? Why did I feel that I could trust Roman, I barely know him…

    The bell signaling the end of the day broke me out of my thoughts. I rush out of my math class and towards my bus. I sit down in my usual seat and blast my music through my headphones the entire ride to my house. Once I got home, I put everything I could need tomorrow into my backpack and now I am curled up in bed, blasting music through my headphones again and scrolling through tumblr.

    After hours of mindless scrolling, I fall asleep with my phone still in my hand. And all too soon, it’s Saturday morning. I walk through our tiny, run-down house with leaks and torn wallpaper. Father never came home last night, he always makes it clear when he comes home. He’s probably still out with his _friends._ He always comes home smelling like drugs and alcohol before he leaves to go out with them again. He rarely ever sleeps here anymore. Sometimes I think the only reason we haven’t sold this house is that there are so many traces of the drugs I know father sells.

    My stomach starts rumbling as I contemplate the state of our house. I wander into the kitchen to see nothing new: an empty pantry and fridge full of beer. My stomach grumbles some more, I walk back out of the kitchen.

    After several more hours of mindless Tumblr scrolling, I grab all my stuff and start the long walk to the library. I get to the library around 2:45 and I find a table in the back. I spread all my papers out across the table, turn up my music and begin to work. I lose track of time, as the research distracts me until a tapping on my shoulder startles me out of my thinking. I pull out an earbud and turn my glare towards Roman.

     “Jesus, warn a dude next time, would ya?” he laughs and collapses in the chair across from me. My heart rate picks up, I’ve been dreading this moment since I texted him.

    “I thought you weren’t gonna come!”

    “Yeah, well, I’m here. Wanna work?”

    “Sure thing, what’s the plan for today?”

    “Oh, um, I was thinking we could just spend all of today doing research? I brought flashcards for us to write information or quotes on with citations on the back.”

    “That’s a great idea!” I feel heat rising to my face. This seems to constantly be happening whenever I’m around Roman. “Didn’t you mention a movie at some point?”

    “I guess I did, yeah.”

    “We should watch that!”

    “Why it’s not actually factual, so it’s not relevant to the project?” why would Roman want to watch a movie with me anyways? The less time we have to spend together, the happier I’d assume he’d be.

    “To get into the spirit of the project obviously!”

    “It’s just a movie, why do you want to watch it so bad?”

    “It’s just a movie, why are you so opposed to watching it?”

    “Touche, but why don’t you just watch it in your own free time, I don’t see why I need to watch it too?”

    “We both need to be in the mood, otherwise our song isn’t going to be in the mood! Please!”

    “Ugh, okay, fine. I’ll watch it with you.”

    “Yes! Wait that means we’d probably have to meet up at my house to watch the movie.”

    “Is that a problem? We don’t have to watch it.”

    “I’m not letting you get out of watching this movie with me. Besides it’s not really a problem for me, as long as it’s not a problem for you.”  
    “Why would it be a problem to me?”

    “Well, you see, I don’t really have a mother.”

    “I don’t see a problem here?”

    “Well, um, I do have two parents...I have two dads,” he genuinely seems nervous to tell me this? Does he not know I’m gay? I am the one who suggested the idea for this project.

    “Again, I really don’t see the problem here?”

    “I don’t know, some people have issues with me having two gay dads.”

    “Were you, Roman Prince, the most popular guy in the school, scared to tell me, the biggest loser in the school, that you have two dads?”

    “What? No! I’m never scared. I’m a Prince, royalty never gets scared. I’m always brave and courageous and yes maybe I was a little nervous.”

    “Aw, little Princey was scared to tell me, a flaming gay, that he has two dads. That’s adorable!”

    “One, don’t call me that. It’s not dignified. Two, I’m not adorable, I’m majestic,” he smiles softly at me, showing that he doesn’t really mind the teasing.

   “You’re full of yourself is what you are.”

    “I am not! But three, you’re gay?”

    “Dude, did you miss the memo with my whole idea for this project?”

    “Well, I didn’t want to assume anything!”

    “Damn, you’re unobservant Princey.”

    “Stop calling me that,” Roman pouts as I laugh. I was so worried he would mention the texts, but he hasn’t yet. I’m probably overreacting, he probably barely even cares. Even despite that anxiety over the texts, I don’t think I’ve ever come anywhere close to enjoying spending time with someone. This research...get together...has been surprisingly pleasant. I glance back to Roman to see that he had stopped pouting and had been staring at me.

  “What? Is there something on my face?”

    “No, I’ve just never seen you smile, much less laugh.”

    “I doubt you’ve ever even noticed me before this stupid project.”

    “Do you really believe that?”

    “I mean, duh. You’re _Roman Prince_ and I’m just...I’m just me? No one ever really pays attention to me.”

    “And I’m the unobservant one.”

    “What?”

    “Virgil, you literally scare people. Legit everyone at school is afraid of you.”

    “That isn’t right. No one pays attention to me,” what is this disillusioned Prince talking about?

    “How have you not noticed? People actually run away from you in the halls.”

    “I just thought no one liked me.”

    “Well now you know, people are just scared of you.”

    “Were you afraid of me?”

    “What?”

    “Were you?”

    “A Prince is never afraid!”

    “You literally just told me you were afraid of me learning about your dads.”

    “Okay, you frightened me just a little bit. I mostly just found you really bothersome. I’m the Prince of the school and you were like the villain or something. I also kinda thought you might have been apart of a gang.”

    “Wow, thanks.”

    “You’re not actually half bad now that I’m talking to you.”

    “What are you trying to imply here?”

    “I think it’s supposed to be a compliment.”  
    “Then, thanks.”

    “You’re very welcome!”  
    “Alright, we should do some work now.”

    “Yeah, we should. Where do you want to start with the research?”

    “If you want, you can start by looking for newspaper articles about the strike and I can read and take notes from my book. Does that sound okay?”  
    “Yeah, sounds great, what book do you have?”

    “It’s called History on Our Side: Wales and the 1984-1985 Miners’ Strike.”

    “That sounds pretty boring actually, so I’m going to start on my work.”

    “Alright, Princey.”

    “Stop calling me that,” Roman smiles at me as we both put earbuds in and begin working.

    We work for several hours, I read through and take notes of the whole book. Roman finds a lot of newspaper articles and other primary sources. I’m about halfway through writing all the citations for Roman’s sources when Roman slams his lid down, causing me to jump. I look at him as he slouches onto the table.

    “I’m exhausted. Do you want to just come to my house for dinner and then we can watch the movie tonight?”

    “I don’t want to upset your parents by showing up so unexpected.”

    “I’ll text them now. And don’t worry about upsetting them, I honestly get in trouble for not bringing friends home often enough. My dad loves taking care of people. So, do you wanna come over?”

    “You know what, why not. I’ll come.”

    “Yay! I’ll text my dads now,” as Roman texts his dads, I put all of our papers and flashcards away.

    “Alright, my dads know. Do you have a car here or do you want me to drive us to my house.”  
    “I don’t have a car, so you may need to drive us.”

    “Did your parents drive you here then?”

    “Parent. It’s just me and my dad. But I walked here, I don’t live too far from here,” he looks at me suspiciously for a moment before nodding his head.

    “Alright, to the Royal Carriage we go!”

    “Please tell me that’s not what you call your car?”

    “Actually, I named him Maximus, after the horse in tangled.”

    “I somehow feel like that is much worse.”

    “TO MAXIMUS WE GO!”  
    “Sssssh, we’re in a library.”

    “And the library is where we will stay if you don’t start walking. Come on, let’s go to my house,” I sigh and follow Roman out to his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And look at someone still posting on a regular schedule. Yeet.  
> I'll see y'all in another week(if I can stay on schedule).


	5. 20 Questions

     Roman slows down and pulls into the garage of the biggest house I’ve ever seen. I sit in shock as he puts the car in park and gets out, I quickly open the door and scramble out. I swing my backpack onto my shoulders and I shut the door quietly. I follow him through the garage door and into the house. As soon as I shut the door, I hear a crash and a shout from somewhere in the house, followed by loud,

    “I’M FINE!” besides me, Roman shakes his head with a found smile gracing his lips as I startle at all the sudden loud noises. 

    “That‘s one of my dads. He’s a tad bit clumsy, but he means well.”

    “ROMAN IS YOUR NEW FRIEND HERE?” the same voice as before shouts, sounding closer. 

     “LOGAN, ROMAN BROUGHT HIS NEW FRIEND HOME!”

     “I’m sorry, he’s also a tad bit excitable,” I turn to see Roman’s face as red as his car. I jump once again to the sound of a crash in the entryway. I turn around to see a man wearing a light blue polo shirt and a grey cardigan tied around his neck. He seems incredibly flushed.

    “Hi! I’m Patton! And I’m very out of breath,” I don’t know what to make of this seemingly incredibly hyper man standing in front of me. 

    “I’m Virgil,” I mumble quietly, not wanting to get in trouble for being too loud. 

    “Oh I know, Roman’s told me all about you!” I quickly turn to Roman in surprise, he’s even redder than before. I didn’t know that was even possible. 

    “Um, thanks?”

    “Alright, Roman told me you love pizza, so I was planning on letting you boys make your own pizza?”

    “Oh, papa! Did you make your really good garlic sauce?”

    “Yeah Ro, it’s in the kitchen waiting for you,” Roman takes off down the hall, leaving me standing in the doorway. I curl further into my hoodie. 

    “You want to go join him? We have lots of toppings.”

    “Oh, I’ll just have cheese. I don’t want to be a bother.”

    “Kiddo, you could never be a bother. When you’re under our roof, you’re our child, which means we get to spoil you however we want.”

    “I think I’ll still just have cheese, if that’s okay.”

    “Of course that’s okay, sweetheart. Just follow me to the kitchen,” Patton turns around and heads down the hallway that Roman had just disappeared down. I hesitantly follow behind. After a few steps, I follow Patton  into a big kitchen to see Roman talking with a tall, dark haired man. He’s wearing a similar polo shirt to Patton, but darker and with no cardigan. His gaze shifts to me as Patton and I walk in. 

    “Salutations. I am Logan. I presume that you are Virgil?”

    “Yes sir. I’m Virgil.”

    “There is no need for such formalities as sir, you are Roman’s friend and therefore you are fully welcome in this house.”

     “Oh, I’m sorry.”

     “There is no need to be sorry, you have done nothing wrong,” I open my mouth to say sorry again, but I snap it shut sheepishly. I look down at my toes, not really knowing what to do or say. 

    “Virgil, come make your pizza!” Roman reaches over and pulls me over to the counter next to him. I flinch as he grabs my hand, but at least the awkward tension clears a bit. 

     “Okay, so here’s the dough. You just have to put on how much sauce you want, then how much cheese you want, and any toppings you want. My dads will take care of the the garlic sauce and cooking,” I watch what Roman does with his pizza and I try to copy. I smear the tomato sauce over the dough and then sprinkle cheese over it. 

    “Is this okay?” Roman glances at my pizza and nods enthusiastically. 

    “It’s great, wanna go to my room while the pizzas cook?”

     “Um, sure?” 

     “Great, follow me!” he walks out of the kitchen and towards the staircase. “My room is on the top floor. Well, it’s more like the top floor is my room,” Roman walks all the up to the third floor and I trail behind. As we walk onto the third floor, I’m pretty sure my jaw physically drops at the sight. 

    “You weren’t kidding when you said that the third floor is your room. This is huge!”

    On the left is an open door leading to a huge bathroom, to the right is the biggest bed I’ve ever seen. Next to the bed and to the right is a collection of ukuleles and music spread across the floor. In front of the music corner and bed is an area of comfy looking seating. Directly across from the stairs is a long table with a mirror across the back. Makeup and nail polish cover the top of the desk. The entire room is lit up by the faint glow of fairy lights hanging across the celling. All the windows are covered in white sheer fabric and decorative flowers. The bed is hidden behind a similar fabric, but a large, fluffy, pink comforter and lots of cute little throw pillows cover the surface of the bed. 

    The decorations in Roman’s room are so vastly different than his car and how he acts at school. His room his more soft and quiet. It feels more real and authentic. It’s more  _ Roman _ and less  _ Roman Prince.  _ I think I’ve put way too much effort into thinking about his room. It’s probably a little creepy. I should probably say something. Why am I so awkw-

    Roman breaks my trail of thought as he throws open the nearly translucent canopy surrounding the bed and throws himself dramatically onto the fluffy pink blanket. 

    “Ugh, I’m so exhausted.”

    “So, you’ve said,” Roman sits up at my comment and pats part of the bed next to him.

    “What are you doing still standing in the doorway. Come join me. You’re probably tired too, considering you walked to the library today, which is nowhere near the pizza parlor. And I seem to recall you saying that you lived near the pizza parlor,” shit. 

    “I kinda just walk everywhere. It doesn’t matter much.”

    “No, it does matter. I don’t want you just walking around for too long. I have a car and outside of rehearsals, I don’t really do much. I can drive you home after working on the project or whatever.”

    “You don’t do much, I find  _ that _ hard to believe. Aren’t you always at parties or hanging out with people?”

    “I feel like you like to assume a lot about me, but I really don’t hang with people that much. 

    “You were literally at a party last Friday!”

    “It was a birthday party for my cousin!”

    “Okay, I’ll let that one go.”

    “Joan and Tylan and I hang out a lot, but that’s about it. I  _ really  _ don’t socialise much outside of school and theatre.”

    “Who are Joan and Tylan?” Roman points to the wall near the area of seating. Covering the wall are framed photographs of Roman and two other people smiling and doing various things. One frame has a collection of the three of them in different Halloween costumes over the years. One frame has a series of Logan sleeping on a beach and the three of them attacking him. There’s one picture of the three teenagers wrapped in a giant pride flag. They’re all sitting on top of a hill with a gorgeous sunset in the background. One frame is filled with Logan, Patton, and Roman opening presents in front of a Christmas tree. Roman is smiling so happily in every photo on the wall, they all look so happy. I feel a slight stabbing in my heart, what would it be like to feel so happy so often? 

    “Joan is my best friend and they’re dating Tylan. It’s always just been the three of us.”

    “‘ _ They’re _ dating Tylan’?”

    “Both Joan and Tylan are non-binary.”

    “Oh, that makes more sense. You three look really happy with each other.”

    “Yeah, I love them both. I guess I just sometimes feel a little left out sometimes. The only people I really let in my life are my parents, Joan, and Tylan. My parents are obviously really happy with each other. And Joan has started going to Tylan more than me now. Sometimes I just wish I had someone who would turn to me first. Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t need to hear that.”

    “Don’t worry about it. I’ll always listen to a rant.”

    “Speaking of rants and things accidentally spoken, what were those texts about. You never responded and I got super worried,” double shit.

    “It was nothing, don’t worry about it.”

    “You’ve really got to stop saying that. People are allowed to worry about you,” the last time someone really worried about me was when my mom was still alive. Even then, it was always me taking care of her. She needed more care than me. 

    “...Virgil? You okay?”

    “What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking about someone.”

    “Oh, who were you thinking about?”

    “It doesn’t matter, don’t worry.”

    “We literally just talked about this.”

    “But it’s true, it doesn’t matter.”

    “Have you ever had a close friend before?”   
    “What does that have to do with anything we were just talking about?”

    “Just answer the question.”

    “No, I’ve never really had any friends. There, happy?” I feel stab of unhappiness. Of course I’ve never had a close friend, or any friends for that matter, before. Why would anyone want to be friends with me, doesn’t Roman see that?

    “That’s it then.”   
    “What the hell are you on about Princey?”   
    “Friendships need trust and openness.”

    “I still fail to see how any of this is relevant.”

    “Are we not friends now?”

    “Why would you want to be friends with me? We’re partners on this stupid project, then we part ways,” a small part of me hurts a lot to say that. I almost want to be friends with Roman. What would it be like to have a friend? Would I get to come over and eat more often? Maybe we would get to watch more movies together. That would be pretty cool actually. 

    “We don’t have to just be partners. You’re a really cool guy, honestly why wouldn’t I want to be friends with you?”

    “You don’t know a thing about me, I’m not normal.”

    “I have two dads, both my best friends are non-binary, my name is Roman for fucks sake, what makes you think I’m normal?” he could never understand. He could never understand how many problems I have. How messed up my life is. How I’d never make a good friend. And yet, how I wish he would understand. How I wish he would understand how alone I feel. How desperately I just want someone. No, how desperately I  _ need _ someone. How insane I feel. Oh how I wish he could just understand.

    “...you could never understand, Princey.”

    “How about you let me be the judge of that. You always assume the worst about me. Yes, I’m rich. Yes, I’m popular. Yes, I do tend to get what I want. But none of that means that I’m an ass. Either way, I hardly even know who you are. You know a lot about me already, but all I know about you is that you play piano, you like music, you write, you’re not a slytherin, and you live with only your dad. Tell me more about yourself.”

    “I don’t know, what do you want me to tell you.”

    “How about I  tell you something about myself and you tell me something about yourself that relates to what I said. We can start easy. My favourite pastime is acting, what’s yours?”

    “Piano, you already know that.”

    “I know, I said I was starting easy. My favourite drink is coffee.

    “I like my coffee how I like my girls, I don’t like it. I do like Cherry Coke though.”

    “Oh, that’s dad’s favourite drink. We have some in the garage, we can grab some before we eat our pizza. Alright, I moved into this house when I was seven years old. Dad’s lived in this house for longer though, Papa and I moved in after they got married. Have you ever moved?”

    “Oh no, I’ve stayed in the same house my whole life. Unfortunately. It’s really run down and we haven’t really repaired it much. It’s probably been around six or seven years since we’ve done anything to it.”

    “Both my dads are obsessed with keeping our house nice. I’ve only ever seen it messy once, but that was a bad week. Okay, my dad is an anesthesiologist, which is where most of our money comes from, in case you were wondering. My papa is pediatric nurse, he also makes a far amount of money I guess. They’re both really smart. What does your dad do?”

    “I don’t really know,” well, that’s I lie. I do know, I just don’t plan on telling Roman. 

    “Oh, government?”

    “No, quite the opposite really. He deals and stuff. But other than that, I don’t really know,” another lie, I know exactly the kind of ‘stuff’ he does, he gets me involved sometimes. 

    “Oh Virgil, I’m sorry. How about, I want to study theatre in college. What would you like to study?”

    “I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it much,” and yet, another lie. Before my mom died, I wanted to study music and then tour the world with my piano. Despite her not taking care of me very much, she always told me to follow my dreams. But after she died, I spent most of my nights curled up on the floor of my closet hiding from dad. He had already been a part of a gang for years and it just became a common understanding that I follow in my dad's footsteps. Thinking about college or my ‘dream job’ would just be pointless. I would never get to do anything I want to do, so why fill my head with disillusioned fantasies of something that will never be a reality. 

    “Maybe you could do something with music?”

    “I already told you Princey, I’m not that good.”

    “How about you let me judge that? You know, we do have a piano in our house. It’s done on the first floor. You could play it, if you want.”

    “Is that an offer or a request?” despite the jolt of anxiety at the thought of playing in front of someone, I smirk at Roman.

    “Both? It’s me asking you to play for me.”

    “Hm, I don’t know if that’s convincing enough...maybe if you beg.”

    “VIRGIL!”

    “I’m waiting, Princey.”   
    “Ugh, fine. But no one else ever finds out about this,” Roman sighs dramatically before  giving me puppy dog eyes. “Please would you be ever so kind as to grace me with your amazing skills?”

    “Alright, you’ve convinced me. Lead the way, ever so valiant Prince.”     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, this is no where near when I planned on posting this but oh well. I'm taking all my end of year tests this week and next, so I've honestly just been studying for ever.   
> This was also suppose to only be one chapter, but I kinda got a little carried away and I could post the everything in one chapter. So who knows when the second half of the Sander's house scene will be posted, but it should hopefully be soon!  
> And one more thing, thank you to everyone who left kudos or comments! They all mean a lot!!


	6. Nightmare Before Christmas

    I follow Roman out of his room and back down all the stairs. Roman leads me through the dining room and he opens a door in the wall before we enter the kitchen. I trail after him as he walks inside. It’s a cozy lounge-like room. There are squishy couches covered with throw pillows that are set up in an almost square like pattern. There’s a large TV on the wall next to the door. On the opposite side of the room sits a piano, it’s not an impressively nice piano, but it is a piano. I stand in front of it and drag my fingers along the keys, my fingertips come away dusty. 

    “Why do you guys even have a piano?”

    “Oh, papa used to play. He learned when he was a young teen or something, but then our lives got a little messy and he didn’t have the time or energy to play anymore. Dad never let us get rid of it, I think he secretly hoped that papa would start playing again or that I would learn. He loves the sound of the piano.”

     “Why doesn’t your dad learn?”

     “He’s tried and believe me he has no musical abilities. It’s actually really funny. But he hates telling people that he once tried to learn cause he doesn’t want to admit he’s not good at something.”

     “My dad has never really liked music. He’s says it’s just a waste of time. But my grandmother was really good!”

     “Was? Did your grandmother die?”

     “Oh, no, she’s still alive. I guess that was misleading. I’m just not allowed to see her anymore. She was my mom’s mom and after my mom died, my dad stop letting me visit her.”

     “Virgil, I’m sorry. That was rude of me to ask.”   
     “Don’t worry about it, it was just a question. You didn’t offend me or anything.”   
     “Okay then, that’s good. Would like to play something now?”   
     “I guess, is there anything you wanna hear?”

     “I mean, whatever you want...but if you could maybe do something Disney that would be amazing!”

     “Disney you say?” an idea blooms in my head. “If you insist…”   
     I place my fingers on the keys, I take a deep breath, and press down. The opening notes to This Is Halloween fill the room. Roman looks confused for a few moments before I see the realisation cross his face. I turn to face the keys and I keep playing. After a few moments I hear Roman’s voice join my playing. His voice and my playing swirl together and dance about the room. The sounds of the happier moments of my childhood come to life, if only for a few minutes, and if only for the two of us. As the last chord fades away, I hear applause coming from the door. I quickly turn to the door, scratch playing for only the two of us, Patton apparently heard everything.

     “That sounded amazing boys! But time for a break, the pizza’s ready!” Roman and I glance at each other and we share small smiles as we follow Patton back out to the kitchen and dining room. Roman heads back to the garage and comes back with two Cherry Coke cans. He sets them down on the table. Roman and I then sit down next to each other as Logan and Patton sit across from us. Plates covered in steaming pizza sit in front of all of us. Roman hungerily grabs a slice and begins eating. Patton eats similarly to Roman, while Logan picks up a knife and fork and starts cutting his pizza. I glance at Roman in confusion.

    “Dad doesn’t like to get his hands messy. The rest of us eat pizza the normal way. He’s just weird.”

    “Oh, okay,” I pick up a slice of my pizza and begin eating. Dinner passes in relative silence, but a comfortable silence. Patton occasionally asks questions, but the pizza is truly the main focus of dinner. Everyone else finishes their food by the time I’m halfway done. 

    “You okay, kiddo? Is there something wrong with the food?”

    “No, I’m sorry,  it tastes really good, I just have a really small appetite. I don’t really tend to eat this much.”

    “That’s quite alright, if want anything else, just let me know. Or let Roman know, he can help too.”

    “Thank you,” I glance over Roman, not really sure what else to say. 

    “Virgil and I are going to go watch a movie for our project. We’ll be in my room,” Roman grabs my hand, making my jump yet again, and he drags me up the stairs again. 

    “How do manage all these stairs all the time. We don’t even have stairs, my house is one floor.”

    “This ass doesn’t come without a price,” he turns around and throws a wink in my direction. 

    “Oh my god, I’m pretty sure that’s not how butts work.” 

    “Well, however they work, I’ve got a nice one.”

    “Suuure.”

    “What, you don’t like my butt?”

    “I haven’t particularly studied your butt!”

    “That’s the problem, you don’t study my butt. My butt is worth studying,” we walk into Roman’s room and I follow him to his bed. He flops down and pats the spot next to him. I sit down on the edge of the large bed.

    “How about we study the movie you insisted we watch, instead of your butt,” Roman sighs as he sits up and grabs his computer. “I already have it downloaded. It was free on Amazon Prime,” he grabs my hand and pulls me to the back of the bed. He grabs two blankets and hands one to me. We wrap the blankets around ourselves and begin the movie. 

    We both focus on the movie, each of us making comments every once and a while. About half way through, Roman pauses it and turns to me, “do you just want to stay the night here? You can borrow some of my clothes and I can drive you home in the morning.”

    “Are you sure? I though Sundays were your family days or whatever.” 

    “I mean, in theory they are but my dads don’t mind my friends being over. Either way, it’ll give them some alone time,” Roman winks at me again.

    “That’s just wrong, stop! But I guess if it’s okay, then I can stay.”

    “Yay, let’s get changed into pajamas now, so we don’t have to worry about falling asleep right after the movie,” Roman crawls out from under the blankets. He slides off the edge of the bed and walks towards his wardrobe. “What do you normally sleep in? Cause I’ve got a lot of clothes and I can probably find something black enough for you.”

    “Oh, just a long sleeves and pj pants, normally,” Roman opens a drawer and after a few minutes of him digging around in the draw, he throws a Corpse Bride sweater at me. After a few more minutes, a pair of black sweatpants follow. 

    “The bathroom is right through that door, I’ll just change in here,” I go into the bathroom and take off my old plain black hoodie and the MCR t-shirt I’m wearing. My black skinny jeans soon follow the pile of my other dark clothes. I pull on the soft sweater and sweatpants. They’re definitely too big for me, but they’re really comfortable. I make sure that the shoulders of the sweater are pulled up high enough. 

     I walk back out into Roman’s room with my clothes in one hand. I’m greeted by the sight of Roman standing shirtless and in only a pair of grey sweatpants that match the ones I’m currently wearing. Roman turns around as soon as I walk, his face is covered by his cocky smile. 

    “I didn’t realise how tiny you are. I can find something smaller, if you need.”

    “Oh no, this is fine. Thank you though,” I can feel my face burning and I can’t seem to meet his eyes. He turns around again and throws on a tank. While they cover his abs and chest, his arms are still on full display and the holes under his arms stretch down most of his torso. Who knew that Roman Prince, theatre dork number one, would have this much muscle?

    “So, you wanna join me in finishing the movie?” I blush even harder and climb back onto the bed with Roman. He unpauses the movie and we settle into a comfortable silence again. Before even five minutes have passed, I feel a weight land on my shoulder. I look over to see Roman fast asleep, snoring lightly. I gently lift him up, set him on the pillows, then I pause the movie, and plug his laptop back in at his desk. I climb back into Roman’s bed and after only a few minutes again, Roman snuggles close to my side with his arms wrapping around me. Instead of feeling trapped like I normally would, I feel safe. My eyes start to feel heavy and after only a few more minutes, I’m fast asleep curled into Roman’s embrace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only have one exam left this year and then I'm done!  
> But I have most of the next chapter written and this story is starting to get dark y'all, so just be prepared.   
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next Sunday!


	7. The Tragic Backstories™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: panic attacks, blood, references to abuse, vague description of injuries, references to past domestic abuse, family disowning, teenage pregnancy, referenced murder.  
> That should be all but let me know if I missed something.

    It seems like I slept for only minutes, then there’s the feeling of blankets being shifted, the feeling of soft lips on my forehead. I feel warm. I feel safe. I feel happy. I feel protected. I feel wanted. I feel _loved_.

   Then that all leaves with the sound of a crash, followed by a thud. I remember where I am. I’m in Roman’s bed. I jerk up to see both Patton and what was once a glass of water on the floor right to the bed. I see the same fear in Patton’s eyes that I know is constantly in my eyes. I see the same terrified expression I know my dad sees on my face. I see the same apology forming on his lips that I know is my first reflex to me messing anything up. I see the same distant look in his eyes that I know I get to protect myself with. Without a second thought, I’m out of bed and crouching down next to Patton. I hover my hand over his shoulder, not knowing if he wants to be touched. He shifts his glassy eyes to me and without warning, he throws himself into my arms. He knocks the both of us backwards on the floor. I sit with him and hold him in my lap while he starts crying. The shattered glass shimmers in the glow of the fairy lights. I can feel that some of the shards cut through my legs. I ignore it in favour of focusing on the crying man in my lap. He keeps muttering ‘I’m sorry’ and I start panicking. I don’t know how to help him. I don’t even know how to help myself, much less someone else.

    After only a few moments of my panicking, I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. I look up to see Logan’s tired eyes shining through his glasses. He’s wearing a pair of boxers and a tight t-shirt. Judging by his hair, I’d say he just got out of bed. Logan squats down next to me, his slippers crunching on the glass.

    “Hey, Pat. It’s me, Logan. I’m here. You’re safe,” Patton relaxes a little in my arms and Logan carefully picks him up and carries him across the room. They disappear down the stairs. I hear Roman cough awkwardly and I quickly turn my gaze to him,

    “The a-the shoulder on your sweater is um, well, it ah-it slipped off,” I look down at my shoulder and see the permanent collection of bruises and scars. Knowing that my back looks even worse, I quickly yank the shoulder of the sweater back onto my shoulder.

    “Are you-are you sitting on glass? Virgil!” I look down and feel the glass cutting into my legs again. “Don’t move, I’m going to go put shoes on then I’m going to come over and pick you up. I don’t want you stepping on any more glass,” Roman grabs a pair of shoes from under his desk and he comes back over.

    “I’m fine, seriously.”  
    “You’re literally sitting in glass, that’s not fine. But I’m going to pick you up under your knees and around your back, is that okay?”

    “I mean, I guess. You really don’t need to though.”

    “Too late,” Roman bends down and gently wraps his arms around my back and under my knees. I wince at the pressure on my back, but despite that, he’s setting me down all too quickly and his warmth is soon gone again. I glance down at my legs to see small holes scattered across the fabric and blood staining the black of the sweatpants. Luckily the sweater seems to have passed unharmed through the affair.

    “Here, go change into these and then I’ll clean up the cuts,” Roman shoves a pair of black shorts into my hands.

    “I’m fine,” my blood runs cold. Roman’s already seen my back and shoulder. He’s seen too much, I can’t let him see more. I don’t really think he’ll let up though.

    “Oh no mister, you’re not getting out of this. I don’t care if your legs look like your shoulder and back. I’ve already seen that. Just let me clean your cuts,” I grunt and head into the bathroom. How the fuck has our relationship gone from partners on a stupid project to spending the night together to me showing him my legs? I don’t think I’ll ever understand how friendships work. Is this what normally happens? By the time I’ve adequately contemplated our relationship, I’m done changing. I hesitantly open the door and stick my head out.

    “I’m not coming out.”

    “Well, then I’m coming in. The first aid stuff is in there anyway,” he pushes the door open, I stumble backward, and he nods in satisfaction after seeing me in the shorts, though his eyes linger on the bruises, cuts, and scars running up and down my legs. I feel his hands guide me to the edge of the bathtub. He gently pushes me to sit on the edge, then he turns around and digs under the sink for a few moments before pulling out a first aid kit. He sets that on the toilet, he then grabs a wet towel.

    “It seems as if both of us have some explaining to do. I guess I should start. You know how I told you that papa and I moved into this house when I was seven?” I nod as Roman gently wipes all the cuts. “Well, papa is my biological father. Papa and mother met when he was 15 and she was 14. He and my mother had me when he was 17. My mother was 16. I was an accident. Papa never really saw me as one, but my mother certainly did. She and papa’s relationship was bad before I came along, but then she blamed him for me and it just got worse. Papa met dad when they were both 21 and I was four. Apparently, they met in a coffee shop after I dumped papa’s coffee on dad. They became good friends and dad helped papa out of the relationship. Papa left mother when he was 23, the next year we moved in here, and the year after that, papa and dad got married. My grandparents never knew much about any of it, but they’re really rich and they supported papa and me for a while. At least financially, they never really cared much about us.”

    “That sounds pretty shitty, I’m sorry Roman.”

    “I guess it was pretty shitty, but it’s fine I guess. I mean, we all have issues because of it now, but we stick together, so it’s not that bad. Papa has it the worst, he has panic attacks like that a lot. He’s only ever worked part-time because he couldn’t handle the stress of working full time. But anyways, whenever he accidentally breaks something or does something wrong, he could have an attack. He doesn’t always though. And he’s gotten a lot better over the years. Dad has helped him a lot.”

    “Speaking of your dad, he must have been young when he bought this house. I mean I know he’s an anesthesiologist or whatever, but like he was just out of college when you and Patton moved in. Oh shoot, I’m sorry. That was rude.”

    “No, it’s fine, he got it from his grandparents. But not directly I guess. Dad was disowned when he was 17 when his parents discovered he was gay. But they both died in a car crash when dad was 21 and all of their stuff was left to dad’s younger brother, who then gave the house to dad. He’s lived here ever since.”

    “Damn, that all really sucks. Is there anything I could to help you or Patton though? I mean, if you want me to. I guess I just didn’t really didn’t know how to help Patton there and I wasn’t much help. You’re all there for each other though, I’m not sure why I offered. I probably won’t be much help and-“

    “Virgil, you were a lot of help. I couldn’t ever ask you to do anything more. Dad is normally the only person who can calm papa down. Even I’m not any help.”

    “You ignored half my question, what about you?”

    “Uh, I mean my mother never hit me or anything like that. I guess I’m fine. I don’t really know though. I’ve never really had anyone ask me that before.”

    “Well, I’ve asked now. Maybe we could try to figure that out together?”

    “Virgil Sanders, is this your way of officially asking us to be friends?”  
    “I guess...maybe you’re not half bad yourself, Princey.”   
    “Hmf, thanks for that. And didn’t I ask you to stop calling me that? Maybe I’ll just have to get back at you with my own nicknames...Jack Smellington.”

    “Wow, is that the best you’ve got?”

    “Look, I just woke up and it’s been a rough night. I’ll have better nicknames later.”

    “Suuuure.”  
    “I’ll just have to prove you wrong then. I take your sarcasm as a challenge.”

    “Great, maybe that’s exactly what I wanted you to do.”

    “I sense a bluff! But it matters not, I’ve told you my story, I need a least a little bit from you.”

    “But it-”

    “If you say it doesn’t matter I will...do...something!”

    “That’s an interesting choice of a threat.”

    “Stop trying to distract me with your humour! It’s only fair of me to learn how to help you and I can’t do that without at least a little bit of info.”

    “Fine, there’s not much to tell really. My dad was never really the good kid in school. I guess my mom saw him and wanted to be the savior. They started dating and she thought she could change his ways and turn him into a good person. It never really worked. I mean it did for a little while, but then it stopped. He started breaking a few laws here and there, started drinking, started doing drugs, joined a gang. It just got worse and worse, I guess. I know I told you my mom died, but it was a little more complicated. When I was 10, she was killed. The authorities never found out who it was. Dad got even worse after that. Now he’s almost always drunk or high. He’s never really home since he’s always with the gang. He’s not really the nicest guy anymore. He never really was very nice, but my mom used to keep him somewhat in check. It’s been a little...I guess you could say it’s been a little rough since my mom died.”

    “Oh Virgil, did your dad do all this to you?” his green eyes stare into my own dark ones. I look away in shame. “Virgil, could you give me an answer? I can only help if I know what’s happening.”

    “I deserved it.”

    “That is no answer. First of all, you don’t deserve any pain. Second of all, you still haven’t answered the question.”  
    “Fine, you know what, I’ll give you what you fucking want. My dad beats me. Is that what you want to hear? So you can go and spread the rumours. Oh, Virgil Sanders’ dad beats him, what a pathetic loser. Is that what you want?” panic builds up in my chest as I yell at him until it all becomes too much. I jolt up and run. Forgetting about how I’m only wearing shorts, I dash out of Roman’s room and down the stairs. I get to the first floor and and I sigh in relief when I encounter neither Patton or Logan. make it halfway towards the front door before my hand is grabbed. I’m soon enveloped in warmth and I’m being told to breath. Through the haze of panic I can feel Roman’s steady heartbeat as he holds me to his chest. It feels so good just to be held and before I can stop them, I feel tears start running down my cheeks. As soon as Roman notices the undignified wetness, he scopes me up bridal style, despite my protests, and carries me back up to his room. He sets me on the edge of the bathtub again and he finishes cleaning the cuts and he puts band-aids on the worst of them. He then picks me up again and brings me to his bed. He quickly wraps me in blankets and I soon find myself in Roman’s embrace once more. I mean, I’m not necessarily complaining. But before I’m able to fully appreciate how safe this feels, Roman is talking again

     “You know, you should really stop assuming the worst about me. We’re friends now, I just want you to be safe and happy,” I barely comprehend what he’s saying before I find myself sleeping soundly in Roman’s arms again.

 

     All too quickly morning comes and I’m watching Roman’s eyes flutter open.

    “Morning sleeping beauty. Did you know that you snore very loudly? And that you are such a sleep cuddler. You wouldn’t let go of me all night.”

    “Aw, you think I’m beautiful. I’m flattered.”  
    “Oh shut it Princey.”

    “I thought you just called me sleeping beauty, who is a princess.”

    “Ugh, I can’t with you.”

    “Looks like someone’s _sleeping grumpy_ this morning.”

    “That one wasn’t good either.”

    “I thought it was very good.”

    “Then you thought wrong. I’m going to go change into my clothes. I’ll be back in a minute.”

    “Alright Grumpy the dwarf from Snow White.”

    “That one’s even worse!” I shut the bathroom door before he even gets a chance to say another stupid thing. I force my skinny jeans back onto my legs, that’s honestly how I get my daily exercise in every day. Then I throw my t-shirt and hoodie back on. I walk back out to thankfully see Roman in his usual white jeans, floral themed shirt, and his leather jacket and shirtless or in that stupid tank.

    “Would you be able to drive me home now? I’ve got other homework to do today.”

    “Yeah, of course. Is it safe for you at home?”

    “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

    “Do I even have to say anything?”

    “No, because it won’t do any good.”

    “Alright, wanna head down to the garage now?”

    “Sure,” I follow Roman down the stairs and towards the garage. Luckily Patton and Logan are still sleeping. I climb into Roman’s car and he pulls out of his driveway. The ride to my house is silent, other than my brief directions. He pulls into the driveway and parks next to my dad's car. Before I have a chance to walk out, he grabs my hand. Again.

    “Text me, okay? I worry about you.”

    “Okay, Mr. Worry-wart, I’ll be fine though.”

    “See you later Virgil,” I slide out of the car and walk to my door, I hear Roman driving off as I grab the handle. I sigh, no going back now. I swing the door open to see my dad standing in the kitchen door frame. 

    “My darling little Virgil, now where have you been all night? I was very worried when you didn’t come home to get me dinner last night...I think it’s only fair that I return that pain,” cold fear runs through my veins and the only thought in my head is: fuck that about me being fine. I’m screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I couldn't wait till Sunday to post this chapter. I've been sitting on it for over a week now and just I had to put it out into the world.  
> AND I'M SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER BUT TRUST ME THE NEXT CHAPTER IS EVEN WORSE PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!


	8. Meeting with the Leader

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: references to abuse and rape and suicide and murder, starvation, neglect, self-deprecating thoughts, and downgrading.  
> Like before, let me know if I missed anything.

    Fuck.

    I’m really screwed.

    I shouldn’t have been so stupid as to stay at the Sanders’ house last night.

    I shouldn’t have let Roman drive me home. My father might have gotten his license plate number. He might try to track down Roman. I can’t let Roman get involved in my life. What was I thinking when I thought we could be friends? I’m a walking magnet of danger and destruction. I’m far too dark for that happy family. I can’t ruin their lives. I know that’s all I’ll do if I get any closer to Roman.

    My train of thought is broken by father walking towards me. I’d be surprised if he couldn’t hear my heart beating.

    The smell of alcohol invades my senses and I suddenly miss the clean smell of the Sanders’ house. I miss the colours and the food and the happiness and the love.

    “Well boy, how about you go make me some lunch to make up for you not making me dinner. Go get into the kitchen and make me something,” I sigh and slip past him into the kitchen. I open the pantry and to my relief there is food in there. Sometimes father makes me make him food when there’s no food in our house. I obviously can’t make anything and it never ends well for me.

    I pull out a box of spaghetti, some sauce, and some chicken. Normally when father buys food, he’s intending to stay at home for a few days. Which means that I won’t be able to go to school till he’s gone again. Father says I shouldn’t bother going because I’ll only end up joining his gang and doing the same stuff he does. Roman’s probably going to worry why I’m not there. I mean I miss a lot of school, but I’ve never had anyone actually really notice before. The teachers all just think I skip.

    I push the thoughts of Roman out of my head. I won’t ruin the only good thoughts and memories I have by thinking of them in this house. Instead, I quickly finish getting lunch ready for father. I set his spot at the table place the food down.

     I walk down the hall to his bedroom and knock on the door. Father opens the door with a growl, “what do ya want?”

      “Your food is ready, sir,” I step out of his way and follow him back to the dining room. He sits down in his chair and I sit down on the ground next to him. I once again feel that pang of sadness. Patton and Logan let me sit at their table. Father hasn’t let me sit at the table since mom died. I sit _on_ the table when he isn’t home just to spite him, but when he is home I’m suppose to sit on the floor at his feet. It’s where I belong he tells me. I never believed him at first. But after years of him constantly telling me, I’ve started to take his words to heart. He wouldn’t say them so often if they weren’t true, right?

     “Virgil, as you noticed, I have stocked the kitchen very nicely.”

     “Yes sir.”

     “There is a reason for that. I will be home for the next few days and tomorrow evening some of the gang will be coming over. I expect the house to be clean and lots of food to be made. They’re members of the upper rankings of the gang and they’ve noticed you and your potential. They would like to meet you. You’re almost 16,  Virgil. You need to start thinking about your future and you’ll obviously never be good enough for anything outside of the gang. You’ll get to stay with me even. No one else could deal with you and live with you. I’ll take pity on you and I’ll give you shelter. This is your best option. I’ll let you think about it, but make sure the house is spotless by tomorrow night.”

     “Yes, sir,” he pushes his chair back and leaves the dining room. As soon as I hear his door click, I sigh in relief. I jump up to see if he left any food on his plate, I lose some enthusiasm at the sight of the empty plate. It doesn’t matter much though, I know I’ll be able to eat tomorrow. And until then, I have full freedom. I _do_ have to clean, but no punishments. He didn’t punish me for not being here. And he basically promised me that he’s not going to punish me until around tomorrow evening. That’s over one days worth of no fear.

    After cleaning up the kitchen, I head to my bedroom. I collapse in my room with my phone in my hand. My mind starts wandering to the Sanders, mostly Roman though. I open his name in my messages to see that he’s already texted me

 

     _Sunday, 11:43 am_

Roman: howre u doing, my chemically imbalanced romanced.

    Roman: and dont think i didnt see ur tshirt ystrday

    Virgil: MCR is a great band!

    Roman: other than the most emoist emo band ever, what bands do u like

    Virgil: I mean obviously fob, p!atd, and tøp. I also listen to Get Scared, Green Day, Set It Off, In This Moment, Bohnes, Lund, Simple Plan, and the like.

    Roman: ur such an emo I luv it

    Virgil: Well what bands do you like?

    Roman: not gonna lie, i listen to a lot of disney and broadway musical soundtracks. a lot of pop music. a prince cant be seen not knowing the most recent music. it would be disgraceful.

    Virgil: Oh my god, of course you listen to Disney.

    Roman: well how’s my good panic at the everywhere doing?

    Virgil: Awful now that I’m texting you.

    Roman: im wounded. i brighten everyone’s day!

    Virgil: You’re like the sun, painful and annoying to look at.

    Roman: well then ur like the dark, mysterious and im scared of you

    Virgil: Is that suppose to be an insult, cause I take that as a compliment.

    Roman: theres just no winning w/ u is there

    Virgil: Nope!

    Roman: remind me why were friends again

    Virgil: Cause you forced me into this. This is nonconsensual friendship.

     Roman: hey! u asked too

     Virgil: I honestly don’t know why I did that. Is it too late to take it back?

     Roman: yep, too late. ur stuck with me now

     Roman: oh i gtg, papa wants to go to the dog park to look at the cute dogs

     Virgil: Why am I not surprised that he does that?

     Roman: hes too sweet and innocent for his own good

     Virgil: Yeah, how did you come from that ball of pureness. You’re awful.

     Roman: hey! i will continue this argument later

     Virgil: Send me cute dog pics while you’re there!

     Roman: will do u emo nightmare

 

    I turn my phone off with a slight smile on my face. It’s absolutely ridiculous, but I already miss his stupid smile and his stupid green eyes and his stupid long brown hair. I miss Patton and Logan and I’ve only just left their house. I don’t deserve such goodness. Just like father says, I’m not good enough and they would never want me.

    With a sigh, I stand up and put my phone away. Father knows I have it, but I never want to risk it. I never have it on my person or out of my room when he’s home.

     I then leave my room and walk down the hallway to the closet that holds the cleaning supplies. The rest of the day passes in a blur of cleaning. By midnight, I’m exhausted. I curl up in bed and open my phone again. My plan was to spend the rest of the night on tumblr, but a text from Roman distracts me. I open it up and smile at all the pictures of him, Patton, and Logan with dogs. Patton is smiling and having the time of his life. Logan is either looking at Patton with adoration or at the dogs with disgust. Roman looks just as happy in these photos as he does in the photos on his wall. Another pang of feelings. A mix of sadness and jealousy. What went wrong in my life to make me so miserable? Why am I not good enough for happiness? How did I keep messing up so bad as to get punished so often? What do I need to change?

     Another text from Roman snaps me out of my thoughts.

 

     _Monday, 12:22_

Roman: i know ur still up hot topic, i need help on some math and i know ur smart

    Roman: wanna ft or something

    Virgil: Ft?

    Roman: yeah, face time...video chat?

    Virgil: Sure, I guess.

 

    I walk over to my desk as Roman is calling me and I click the accept button and soon as I’m sitting down. Roman’s voice blasts in my ears through my headphones. I wince and turn the volume down. I really need to stop listening to my music so loudly.

     “Hey there, you emo owl.”

     “What does that even mean?”

     “I don’t even know. Math has fried my brain.”

     “Sure, but what do you need help with?”

     “Everything...but mostly this graphing stuff,” we then spend the next hour and half on math. Well, partially math. There’s a lot of jokes and sarcasm that pass between us.

     “Okay, I’m going to head to bed now. Thank you for the help. I know you were smart, but damn you’re really good at math. What are you not good at?”

     “Um, everything?”

     “What? You’re good at so much! Don’t try and lie to a Prince.”

     “It’s true though.”

     “No, it’s completely not. You’re really smart and musical and talented and you know what, I just decided that I’m making it my mission to make you see how amazing you are.”

     “Oh god, what have I gotten myself into?”

     “I great friendship! Well anyways, I am going to pass out from exhaustion in a few minutes, so I’ll see you tomorrow?”

     “Yeah, sure,” Roman flashes me a smile before hanging up. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him I won’t be at school. He’ll ask and I can’t say that I’m not allowed to leave the house till father’s gone.

    I climb into bed again and scroll through tumblr till I doze off.

 

    I wake up to sunlight filtering through my window and the faint noise of birds chirping. I crawl out of bed and throw some clothes on. I spend my morning cleaning and then I switch to cooking for the afternoon. Late into the afternoon I hear father stumble out of bed and come cluncking down the hallway.

    “Listen boy, you need to make a good impression tonight. You better be clean and in your best clothes. Or at least you need to be as clean as someone as dirty as you can be. The house and food look good enough coming from you so go get ready.”

    “Yes sir,” I quickly retreat into my bedroom until I hear father turn the shower on. When father’s home, I’m not allowed to use the shower, so I use the shower when he’s gone. I’m never technically allowed to use it actually, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. I walk back into the kitchen and rinse my hair and face off in the kitchen sink. I walk back to my room, careful to not drip water on the floor. I open my closet and search for an old tattered box. I find it, pull it out, and open it. It’s one of the things my mom gave me before she died, a plain black button up collared shirt with black pants. Of course when she got it, it was huge on me, but I’ve grown into it. I switch into the expensive clothing and look down, I might have overgrown it a bit.

    I don’t have much time to dwell on the too tight shirt because a knock sounds through the house. I hear my dad shout for me to get the door and show them to the dining room. I glance about my room to make sure everything is hidden and I walk to the front door.

    “Hello sir, my father is just finishing getting ready. He’ll be out in a minute, would you like me to show you to our dining room in the meantime?”

    “That’s fine, make it fast, I don’t like standing around.”

    “Of course sir, right this way sir,” I lead the man dressed in a very nice black suit through our house and his men in matching suits follow behind us. They all take seats around the table and the one who seems to be the leader sits at the head of table where father usually sits.

    “Do you need anything sir?”

    “A glass of water.”

    “Of course sir, I’ll be right back sir,” I walk into the kitchen and pull out one of our nicest cups. I dump some ice into the cup and go to reach for the faucet, but a hand grabs my wrist. I jump and turn to the source. Father stands glaring at me.

     “Go bring in the water, then come right back in here. Then don’t move until I call for you. Understand?”

     “Yes sir,” with that, I silently fill up the glass, bring the leader guy his water, and come back into the kitchen. After father walks into the dining room, I sit down on the floor in misery . Much to my constant fighting, my thoughts travel to Roman again. I would give so much just be taken care of and to feel that love again. Is that what family is supposed to be? My mind drifts back to my mother. I miss her. It wasn’t all happy times when she was alive, but it was better. A lot better. She used to give me bubble baths and ice cream and hot cocoa and we’d have movie nights and snuggle parties. Granted father was never around during those.  

    I get lost in the found memories of my childhood before I hear father shout for me and all my warmth shatters around me,

    “Boy! Get in here!” I jump up and rush in. I see father at the opposite side of the leader dude. He points to the floor and I quickly sink down to my knees next to him.

    “Wow, Sanders, you’ve really trained him well, haven’t ya?”

    “Yep, he’s so obedient. He wasn’t like this when he was a kid, once my stupid wife offed herself, I was able to start punishing him properly,” I flinch at my father’s words. Everyone in the room knows she didn’t kill herself. Everyone in room knows that my dad killed her. No one says anything. No one acknowledges the truth. And I can’t say anything. I can’t do anything.

    “Hey Sanders, so how do you punish him, hm?” the table laughs and I know what’s coming next.

    “Wanna see?” at father’s words, the men start cheering. I internally sigh, the exact words I hate hearing.

    “Get up boy and take of your shirt. Show ‘em your pretty little scars,” I slowly stand up and start unbuttoning my shirt. Once it’s unbuttoned, I slide it off my torso and I very slowly turn around. Whoops and hollers fill the room at the sight of the marks left by father’s belt and his boots and cigarettes and various other means. I repress another sigh, knowing exactly how the rest of the night is going to go.

    “So, boy, you good at anything else, other than being a nice fuck toy?”

    “He’s brilliant at math, he’d be able to help keep track of money. God knows none of us can keep track of our fucking money. Leo is the best we got and he’s still shit.”

     “Yes Sanders, Leo’s shit at it, but I’m not sure I trust the boy yet. If he’s on his best behaviour tonight and he’s a good enough whore, then I’ll think about it,” god tonight is going to be painful...but I guess it’s nothing new. This is why I hate when guys from father’s gang hang out here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little insight about me writing this, I originally wrote the gang members to use please and be polite stuff and then I remember that they're not suppose to be nice and I had to rewrite their parts. I'm too nice of a person.  
> Also, about the bands I listed. I do listen to and enjoy the them a lot, so I figured I'd put my favourite songs by each band and why I love them here:  
> MCR - Cancer (my best friend is fighting cancer for the second time right now and I just really love listening to this song)  
> P!ATD - When the Day Met the Night (this was my ex and I’s song. She was the first person I really /loved/ or whatever and she cheated on me but like I’m fine I’m over it now and we’re friends and we have matching tattoos, but like I still really love this song. Like so much?)  
> FOB - Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea (I literally have no explanation, I just really fucking love it)  
> TOP - Friend, Please (this was a hard choice but this song has honestly helped me through a lot and it just has a lot of meaning for me)  
> Get Scared - Don’t You Dare Forget About The Sun (I’m really not sure why I like this one either but I just feel it. It’s a mood)  
> Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams (I relate to this song more than I should and it just sums up a lot of my own feelings)  
> Set It Off - A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing (this is such a great song to scream when driving alone and angry. Trust me, I speak from experience)  
> In This Moment - Sick Like Me (it’s just sounds so cool? And like I feel really cool when I listen to this band in general)  
> Bohnes - Middle Finger (I feel like such a badass when I listen to this song)  
> Lund - Broken (damn I just relate too much, my friend showed me this song when both of us were in a really bad place and I just love listening to it when I’m not doing too hot)  
> Simple Plan - I can’t decide between two songs. Perfect and I’m Just A Kid (both are just songs I relate too much)


	9. Tale As Old As Time

    Getting out of bed this morning was a challenge. Everything hurt and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep some more. But Roman was already worried. I’ve been ignoring his texts since our FaceTime call. I couldn’t miss school again today and father already left again, so I had no excuse to stay home. And now I’m sitting in my history class just waiting for Roman to walk in. I force myself to look out the window. I’m watching a bird energetically fly from tree to tree when I hear a loud crash. I jump in my seat and turn to see one very angry Roman and his pile of textbooks on the desk. 

    “You can’t just do that!”

    “...do what?”

    “You know exactly what you did! You can’t just skip school and then ignore all my texts! What happened to friendship and trust?”

    “I’m - I’m sorry?”

    “What kind of apology is that?”

    “Fine, I’m sorry I ignored you. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I was missing school. I’m sorry that I messed up. I’m just not used to people caring or whatever. I can’t trust that you mean all this. What if you’re just playing a sick joke on me? You’re going to pretend like you like me, then you’re going to say ‘oh just kidding, no one could like you’ and then I’ll have made a fool of myself.”

    “I know I’ve said it before, but you  _ really  _ have to stop assuming the worst of me. Do you really think that I would open up to you about my family and all that if I didn’t want to be friends with you?” 

    “I’m sorry, again. I just - I just don’t trust people easily or whatever I guess. And I’m sorry I didn’t think about you. I shouldn’t ignore you, especially knowing the stuff about your mom. I really am sorry.”

    “I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have overreacted and yelled at you like that. And now that we’re on good terms again, why  _ did  _ you miss school yesterday and ignore me?”

    “I um, I don’t know, I guess things just become too much sometimes.”

    “Text next time, I can try to help or at least be there for you. Friendship goes both ways. You’ve got to put effort into-,” the sound of the bell ringing cuts Roman off and neither of us talk till class is over. 

    “You have chemistry next, right?”

    “Um, yeah?”

    “Come on, I’ll walk you. I have theatre next and the teacher doesn’t care if I’m late.”

    “Obviously, you’re the theatre king. I’m pretty sure that class revolves around you.”

    “Actually, I’m a theatre Prince, but other than that, you’re right.”

    “Do you even know what modesty is?” 

    “Of course I know what it means, I just don’t have any,” we both laugh as we walk down the science hallway. “Alright Gloom and Doom, don’t die of boredom with Mr. David. I swear he’s the most boring person on this planet.”

    “You’ve clearly never heard yourself talk.”

    “Hey, you’re the most bor-“ someone shouting ‘Roman’ interrupts him for the second time today. One of the people from the photographs on Roman’s wall walks up to us. 

    “Oh hey Joan! How’re you doing today?”

    “I’m pretty good, but what are you doing in the science hall? We have theatre class right now.”

    “I could ask you the same thing. Wanna walk over there together?”

    “Obviously, ready to go?”

    “Yeah, see you later, Virgil!” I watch the two of them walk off, Roman telling some story about theatre. What a nerd. I walk into my science class and sit down in my usual seat in the back of the room. The rest of the school day goes by uneventfully. 

    I start the walk to my house, music blaring through my headphones. I turn onto my street after listening to two albums and I see a car sitting on my driveway. Shit, maybe father wasn’t gone. Without a second thought I spin on my heels and walk the other way. I don’t know what I’m doing or why, but I know I’m not going into that house right now. I don’t know where I’m going, but my hand automatically opens Roman’s contact on my phone. I quickly press the call button. After several rings, it goes to voicemail. I hang up angrily and call him again. It goes to voicemail again. Before I even have a chance to think about what I’m doing, I call one more time. This time the phone is picked up,

    “Hey, this is Remy, the fucking Prince is in rehearsal right now, anything I can do for you instead of that hoe?” I hear Roman shouting for his phone in the background.

    “I just, I just really need to talk to, um, talk to Roman. Please.”

    “Hold up there gurl, you doing okay? You sound a little panicked.”   
    “I’m fine, please just let me-”   
    “Hold on honey,” I hear Roman distantly asking who’s calling him. “I have no clue, the contact only said My Dark Little Storm Cloud,” I let out a noise of shock, is that what Roman put for my contact name? I hear Roman yelling for his phone in the background. I smile a little at the whole situation, thoughts of father shoved out of my head. Finally Roman’s voice comes through clearly,

    “Hey, how much of that did you hear?”

    “All of it Princey.”

    “Ugh, I hate Remy. Anyways, what did you need?”

    “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

    “Virgil. Do I even have to think it at this point?”

    “It really is stupid, but I was walking home and I saw that my father was home and I kinda panicked and I just walked off and I was gonna call to see if I could maybe stay at your place or whatever, but you’re at rehearsal, so it’s fine or whatever.”

    “Virgil, thank you.”

    “What? For what? I didn’t do anything.”

    “You were honest with your thoughts. I really appreciate it. And anyways, we’re not doing anything at rehearsal, just building sets. The director won’t care if I leave. I’m doing more harm than help here. There’s a reason I’m an actor and I don’t do art or anything like that,” I laugh a little at the thought of Roman trying to build anything, “okay, I’m going to hang up now, send me your location and I’ll come pick you up.”

     “Okay, thank you.”

     “No problem, my dark little storm cloud,” he hangs up before I can say anything. I quickly send him my location and then I sit down on the curb to wait, while blushing at the new nickname.

     After only a few minutes his stupid Mustang turns onto the street I’m on. I grab my backpack and slid into the passenger seat. 

    “Papa isn’t working today, so he can make us a big snack and we can watch some movies with him this afternoon if you want! And maybe you could help me with my math homework again. I’m really not good at it.”

    “Let me guess, your favourite movies are Disney right?”

    “Would you expect anything less of me? Besides, what are  _ your  _ favourite movies?”

    “Oh, um, I don’t really watch many movies. I guess I watched Disney movies with my grandmother growing up, but I don’t watch much at home. I mostly tend to stick with my music.”

    “Can we have a Disney movie marathon tonight?”

    “It’s your house, why are you asking me?”

    “Cause you’re the guest! Do you wanna watch Disney with me?”

    “Why not, let’s do it,” Roman sequels as he pull into his driveway. We both get out and head to his front door. 

    “Hey Papa, I brought Virgil home. We’re gonna have a Disney movie marathon!”

    “Oh, just give me a sec boys!” Patton’s voice floats over to us from somewhere in the house. Roman grabs my hand and drags me up the stairs to his room. The only thing that’s changed since I was last here is that there’s a new frame on his wall. It’s filled with the pictures of the Prince family at the dog park. I walk closer to inspect the pictures. Footsteps coming up stairs alert me to Patton’s presence before he enters the room. 

    “Heya kiddos! How was rehearsal Roman?”

    “It was fine I guess, we’re working on the castle right now, it’s going to be huge!”

    “What show are you guys doing right now?” I’ve never seen a play from our school before and I really don’t know much about theatre, but the idea of Roman building a castle pushes me to ask. 

    “Oh, we’re doing Beauty and the Beast!”

    “Let me guess, you’re Gaston?”

    “How dare you! I’m the Beast, obviously. Anyways, papa, could you make us some popcorn please and you can join us for the movies if you want!”

     “I may join you for one or two movies, I’ve been getting some work done today and there’s a little bit more I want to finish before your dad gets home.”

    “Do you wanna get your work done and then we can all have dinner and then both you and dad can join us for a movie?”   
    “That sounds like a plan, Roman. I’m going to go grab some food for you both and then I’ll continue working,” Roman nods in acknowledgement and Patton walks back down the stairs. As soon as Patton is out of sight, Roman throws himself onto his bed and pats the spot next to him. I slowly crawl into his bed next to him. As I’m getting settled, Roman sets up his computer, he turns the lights off, and he grabs some blankets. He places himself next to me again and he wraps both of us up in his blankets. I’m quickly surrounded by the safe smell of Roman. I can’t help but to relax into the softness of the blanket. 

    “I’m going to play one that I know we both like,” Roman turns on Nightmare Before Christmas and I sink even further into the blankets. I haven’t felt this warm and safe in such a long time. 

    Somewhere near the beginning, Patton brings a tray of popcorn, soda, and junk food up. By the end of the movie, I’ve given up on telling Roman to stop singing every song and mouthing every part. After the movie ends, he turns on Beauty and the Beast. When the library scene starts playing, Roman pulls me out from my warm blanket nest and he forces me to dance with him. He claims he’s practising for the play. I call bullshit, but I dance and smile and laugh and I push aside all my negative thoughts. I forget that there’s a world outside of Roman’s smile. 

    And as he holds the small of my back with one hand and my hand in his other hand, as he sings Tale As Old As Time, as he looks at me with happiness dancing in his beautiful green eyes, I realise that I’m falling for the Theatre Nerd who so quickly forced himself into my life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH THANK YOU ALL FOR 1K HITS! I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST STARTED POSTING AND I WAS EXCITED BY 50 HITS! SO THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READS, LIKES, OR BOOKMARKS MY STORY! AND AN EVEN BIGGER THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO LEAVE COMMENTS, THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY AND THE COMMENTS ARE WHAT TRULY KEEPS ME POSTING SOMETIMES! BUT SERIOUSLY THANK YOU TO EVERYONE! I LOVE YOU ALL!!  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you have a lovely week!


	10. Another Movie Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: panic attack, reference to abuse. Lemme know if I missed something.

     Roman and I had gotten back into his bed a while ago and we’re halfway through Frozen before we hear the front door open. Much to my satisfaction and Roman’s dismay, we pause Frozen and head downstairs. We’re met by the sight of Logan and Patton kissing. I blush and duck my head while Roman clears his throat.

    The two dads break away, Patton with a grin and Logan with a bashful smile. Roman playfully rolls his eyes at his dads and Logan coughs shyly while straightening his tie. 

    “Okay kiddos! I have dinner almost made, Logan is going to go change out of his work clothes and then we can eat,” Logan gives Patton a quick hug before heading upstairs while Roman and I head over to the kitchen island. 

    “So what movies have you two watched so far?”

    “We started with Nightmare Before Christmas because it’s amazing, we then watched Beauty and the Beast because like duh, and now we’re halfway through Frozen. We can start a new movie when we all sit down to watch a movie together though.”

    “Sounds like fun, Roman. We may have to watch Big Hero 6 again if we want dad to watch with us.”

    “You know I don’t mind watching Big Hero 6. Have you seen it, Virgil?”

    “Um, no, I heard about it, I guess. I never got around to seeing it.”

    “Well, then it’s decided, we’ll watch Big Hero 6. It’s a great movie, you have to see it. I’ll ask dad if he wants to join us after he comes back downstairs.”

    “Why Big Hero 6, is it your dad’s favourite movie?”

    “No, actually he can barely stand it.”

    “What, then why-“

    “He just hates every other Disney movie more. He really only likes documentaries.”

    “Did someone say documentaries?” Logan’s sudden appearance behind us makes me jump in my seat. 

    “Yeah, we were talking about what things you like to watch.”

    “Ah, yes. Documentaries are quite satisfactory. May I inquire as to the reason behind this discussion?”

    “Well, we were wondering if you’d join us for a movie night and we’re having a Disney themed movie night, so we were going to watch Big Hero 6 cause we know you will watch that one. Do you want to join us?”

    “Roman, and Patton, I’ve told you both this many times. I will always join you in your act of watching frivolous make believe that makes no sense. We don’t have to watch Big Hero 6 in order for me to join you in your movie marathons. Although, I wouldn’t mind watching Big Hero 6 for another time.”

    “Thanks, dad, love you.”

    “Hey Lo, could you set up the living room while I serve dinner?” Logan nods and walks into the room with the piano. Patton pulls down some plates and starts serving piles of steaming food onto them. My mouth starts watering from the delicious smells and sights. Patton places a plate in my hands, then Roman’s. I glance at Roman as we start walking to the living room. I follow him through the doorway to see that most of the lights are turned off and the TV to the left of us is softly illuminating Logan’s face. 

    “Hello, Roman. Virgil. You both can get the movie pulled up. I will go get food and say hello to Patton again. We will be back shortly.”

    “If pa has any say on the matter, they won’t be back shortly,” Roman whispers in my ear after Logan leaves the room.

    “We can go ahead and eat now while they do their own thing,” I nod in acknowledgement and look to the food. Spaghetti, meatballs, and green beans all sit on the plate. I begin to eat, all too soon the plate is empty and I’m full. 

    Roman sets his plate aside once he’s done and he pulls up Big Hero 6 on the TV and turns back to me.

    “So, wanna maybe play and sing another song together while we wait?”

    “Um, I guess we can. Are you sure you want me to play again?”

    “Yes Virgil, you’re really talented. I loved listening to you play.”

    “Okay then,” I sit down on the piano bench and place my fingers on the keys. It looks like someone has dusted it off since the last time I played it. I hover over the chords before looking up at Roman, he smiles in encouragement and I begin to play on the keyboard for the second time. The opening of Reflection from Mulan fills the room. After the first few chords, Roman’s voice joins the song. The two of us paint the room in colourful notes of music. 

    My eyes close in pure happiness and I’ve never felt more content in my life. I feel like I’m in the right place with the right people, or person I suppose. My fingers dance over the black and white keys and I’ve never felt more at peace. 

    The song is over too soon, but my fingers and Roman’s voice keeps going. We jump from song to song, neither of us caring about anything else. We just play and sing, until a crash sounding from the kitchen jolt us from our trance. My fingers hit the wrong notes and then I freeze. A voice calls out from the kitchen,

    “I’m fine!” but the words don’t process. I hear movement, but it hardly registers beyond the loud thoughts of panic and fear. Sounds of pots crashing. Father must be angry. He rarely throws things unless it’s bad. It’s not until I feel a hand on my shoulder that I react. I slip off the bench and onto the ground in fear. The apologises forming on my tongue before a conscious thought stops them. The build-up and tumble out in a mess of words. I tense up waiting for the hit or kick or  _ something _ , but it never comes. Instead, warmth surrounds me. I lean into the touch and breathe in the smell of safety. My lungs fill with air I hadn’t realised I needed. I catch my breath and then I feel myself being lifted from the ground. Then there’s the softness of the couch and the weight of a blanket. The warmth of arms is surrounding me again. I collapse into the embrace. I’m so confused by what’s happening, but the warmth of Roman’s body is too nice to be concerned about. 

    After a few minutes of just feeling safe and trying to get my breathing completely under control, I notice that Roman never wrapped me in a blanket. He wrapped me in his leather jacket. I snuggle deeper into the softness of the jacket. It takes me quite a bit longer to find my voice again and when I do, it’s really croaky. 

    “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. You shouldn’t have seen that.”   
    “There is absolutely nothing to be sorry for. Panic attacks are kind of normal around this house. We all know how to handle them. They’re nothing to be ashamed of.”

    “Thanks,” I can’t think of anything else to say, so I just curl up further into the jacket and into Roman’s chest. He just runs his hands through my hair and holds me close. My breathing evens out even more and I relax into Roman’s embrace. I hear the door open and close, but I feel so safe and secure to be startled. 

    “Hey papa, you okay?” Roman’s voice is soft and gentle. I could care less about what he’s actually talking about, the sound of his voice is just so calming. 

    “Yeah kiddo, dad and I just got a little too excited. Is Virgil okay?”

    “I’m not sure, I don’t think so. He had a really bad scare after whatever fell, did fall. He has some bruises and stuff that really concern me too, I saw those a while ago though. I don’t know what to do. I just want him to smile like he did when we were watching Disney movies and goofing off earlier today, but he seems so scared most of the time. I don’t know how to help.”

    “Well, unless we know what we’re working with, we can’t do much. Has he told you what his injuries are from?”

    “Um, I guess, yeah he has. He told me after your panic attack the night he stayed over,” Patton coughs, assumably out of embarrassment. 

    “Are them from something or some _ one _ ?”

    “...more the latter. Um, he said that, um he said they’re from his-his dad. He told me his mom died a while ago,” Roman’s hand stills in my hair as he stops talking and before I can stop myself, I make a slight whine in protest to the lack of head scratching. After Roman starts running his fingers across my scalp again, I really doze off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda week late but oh well. I was kinda having a slight writer's block and I'm in the process of moving from Virginia to Texas and I'm driving down so packing was kinda stressful. Anyways, if you want to see my adventures across America, you can check out my snapchat (smilesdominate) or my instagram (sp00n.hater).  
> And on the topic of social media, would any of you want me to get a tumblr? I'm not sure.
> 
> Okay, feel free to call me out on any typos and don't forget to leave kudos or comments because I'm lonely and they make me happy.
> 
> PS I'm now making my sister edit this so shoutout to her.


	11. Too Many Zippers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: cursing, mentions of death, reference to a panic attack, self-deprecating thoughts
> 
> I think that's it, but let me know if I missed anything!

    Everything is warm. I try to curl closer to the source of heat. I find that I can’t. I can’t turn or move. I slowly open my eyes. Looking around, I see that I’m laying on top of the couch in the Prince’s living room. I also see that I’m laying on top of Roman. His arms hugging my waist is the reason I can’t move. It also appears that someone placed a blanket over us both in the night. Moana is playing softly on the TV, the only other light looks like it’s coming from the kitchen underneath the door. 

    I don’t remember much from last night, other than Roman and I singing and playing the piano, me freaking out, and then warmth and hands in my hair. I think Roman was talking with someone, but I can’t remember who or what they talked about. I curl closer to Roman and wait for him to wake up. There’s nothing else for me to do since I can’t move out of his grip and he looks so peaceful, I don’t want to wake him up. 

    It only takes a few more minutes before Roman starts to wake up. I watch as his eyes flutter open and he begins to smile.

    “Good morning Sleeping Beauty,” my voice sounds scratchy and hoarse. 

    “Aw, you think I’m beautiful. Wait, haven’t we had this conversation before?”

    “Yeah, I figured that I would call you Sleeping Beauty every time you wake up because you sleep forever.”

    “Yeah, well, this time it wasn’t my fault. You started to whine if I stopped scratching your head last night. You kept me up forever,” I blush at the thought. How could I be so needy? Even in my sleep. 

    “Don’t worry, it wasn’t really a bother and you were cute,”  my face heats up even further. This boy needs to stop complimenting me, my face is going to melt off from blushing so hard. 

    “Wait, crap, isn’t today Wednesday? Don’t we have school? Shit, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. I’m sorry.”

    “Virgil, it’s really fine. You can just use my shower and borrow some clothes. I’ll drive us to school. Don’t worry about it,” Roman checks his phone and pulls me closer. “It’s 4:30 in the morning, let’s go back to sleep. We don’t have to leave the house till like 8:45,” I sigh and relax into Roman’s chest. There’s no way I’m going to get out of his grip; besides, he’s comfy. 

 

    “-gil. Roman and Virgil.”

    There’s a gentle hand shaking my shoulder. I hold back a groan and turn over. Patton stands next to the couch trying to wake both Roman and me. 

    “Just five more minutes,” Roman seems to take more convincing than me to wake up. 

    “No sweetie, you’ve got to get up for school. Besides, I made pancakes.”

    “I’ll eat them later.”   
    “Dad’s going to eat them all if you don’t hurry up.”

    “Then I won’t have any at all.”   
    “Roman, Virgil will eat your pancakes,” Roman sits bolt upright, throwing me to the ground in the process. I land on Patton’s feet with a loud thump. Before I can react, Roman shoves his hand in my face, I accept it, and he pulls me up as he starts rambling. 

    “I’m so sorry my dark little storm cloud. I guess I forgot you were there. Is there anything I can do to make up for my un-Princely like manners?”

    “Dude, It’s fine. I’m fine. Either way, I think I heard the promise of pancakes?”

    “Oh, yes! I made pancakes for you all this morning. I used my secret recipe!”   
    “Pa’s pancakes are actually the best! Like oh my gosh they are amazing! You haven’t  _ lived _ until you’ve had his pancakes.”

    “Alright, let’s go eat these pancakes and I can live for the first time apparently,” Patton basically skips out of the room as Roman and I follow. We both sit down near Logan at the kitchen island and Patton sets a huge platter of pancakes down in front of us. He hands out plates and sets out the syrup containers, butter, and a strange bottle of something.  We all take turns grabbing pancakes, butter, and the syrups.

    I’m in the middle of spreading butter across one of my pancakes when Roman grabs my arm. 

    “Close your eyes and open your mouth.”

    “What? That’s never a good way to start out the morning.”

    “Just do it,” I raise an eyebrow, but I follow his instructions. As soon as my mouth is open, Roman places his fingers under my chin and he tilts my head upwards. I then hear a strange noise and my mouth is filled with some form of a sweet foam. I open my eyes in surprise and see Roman grinning. I swallow the fluffy substance and give him another questioning look. He just grins and holds up the strange bottle. 

    “Whipped cream! Have you never had it?”

    “What’s whipped cream? It tastes really sweet.”

    “It’s like a cream that is um whipped? And it has a lot of sugar? I’m not actually sure what it is. Just that everyone loves it.”

    “Virgil, whipped cream is a form of a heavy cream that is subjected to mechanical aeration. Through one of two different methods, air is incorporated into the cream.”

    “Oh, okay. Um, that sounds really interesting.?”

    “There’s no such thing as a pancake without whipped cream!” Roman dramatically flails his arms as he talks.

    “I’ve never had pancakes before. My grandma used to make me breakfast when I stayed with her as a kid, but it was normally cereal or something else basic. She didn’t really know how to cook. When I was home, my mom normally slept in, so I would make breakfast for my parents and I.”

    “Do you not visit with your grandma anymore?” Patton stopped serving pancakes as I talked.

    “Uh, no. My mom died and I stopped visiting.”

    “Aw, kiddo, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up a sensitive subject.”

    “Don’t worry about it, it’s fine. Um, anyways, the pancakes are really good!”

    “Thanks, Virgil! I don’t normally make them on school mornings, but I figured I’d make them for you.”

    “You didn’t have to go out of your way for me. I rarely eat breakfast anyways.”

    “Virgil, breakfast is one of the most important meals of the day. It provides you with energy to get through the day. Eating a healthy breakfast within two hours of waking can affect how your body metabolizes glucose, allowing your body to process foods in a more healthy manner. Without a healthy meal in the mornings, overconsumption later in the day tends to happen.”

    “Dad, they teach this in middle school. We all know this stuff. Besides, you’re the one who eats breakfast least often out of the three of us. You always try to lecture us on being healthy, but you do exactly what you tell us not to do.”

    “Falsehood!”

    “Logan, no yelling at our son when he’s correct. We’ve been over this before, only when’s he wrong. Either way, you boys need to hurry up and eat so you can get to school on time!” Roman and I glance at each other and quickly dig into our pancakes. 

    After eating one pancake, I’m full. I bring my plates to the sink and Patton waves off my offer to do the dishes. Roman leads us up to his room.

    “Okay, would it be okay for me to shower first? I um tend to take a while on my hair.”

    “What gossip, Princey’s hair isn’t naturally perfect. What a juicy secret.”

    “Shut up, don’t you even think of telling anyone.”

    “Who do you even think I’ll tell? It’s not like I talk to anyone anyways. But yeah, go take your shower and do your hair.”

    “Fair enough, let me grab you some clothes. They may not be as dark as you normally dress, but they should do,” I sit down on his bed as he rummages through his drawers. He eventually finds everything he’s looking for and walks back over. He hands me a pile of clothes, looking mostly dark, but still too colourful for my normal preferences. 

    “That should work, let me know if you need anything else. I’ll be in the shower,” as soon as the door to the bathroom shuts, I begin glancing through the clothes Roman gave me. The pants he gave me are a faded black with far too many zippers. The top is a maroon t-shirt and a black leather jacket, again with far too many zippers. What is with Roman and his zippers? I push the thought out of my head and go to snoop around his room. I walk over to the wall of pictures again. Like every other time, my heart breaks just a little. Roman’s smile lights up every picture. I’ll never make anyone that happy. Especially Roman. 

    I turn around before my thoughts start spiralling too much. I walk over to Roman’s desk or more his beauty station. Makeup and nail polish and hair products and goodness know what else covers the surface of the table. Little post-it notes with cute, inspirational messages cover the mirror. Can Roman get any more precious? I swear my heart speeds up every time he looks at me. I pick up a few bottles containing various coloured liquids. I honestly have no clue what most of this stuff is, so I quickly lose interest. I walk over to his ‘music corner’. Four different ukuleles of different colours and wood types all rest on little wall holders. A mess of music and papers covered in writing litter the floor. I grab a few pages and to my surprise, it looks like Roman was writing music. Lines and chords fill the pages and a good half of everything written was scribbled out at some point. I set the papers down again, not wanting to invade his privacy, and I walk over to the wardrobe that sits in between the nightstand and the wall to the left of the bed. I open the wooden doors to reveal rows and rows of clothing. He has more shirts in his wardrobe than any clothing that I’ve owned throughout my entire life. I didn’t even know that it was possible to own this much clothing. I don’t want to mess up Roman’s organisation, so I close the doors and sit back on his bed. I open up Tumblr and just scroll till I hear the bathroom door open. Roman walks out with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Water drips from the ends of his shoulder-length hair and runs down his bare chest. Any sarcastic remark I could have had has left my mouth. I feel my face heat up and my mouth hanging open. 

    “I got clothes for you, then I forgot my own. But the bathroom’s open,” light pink dusts Roman’s cheeks. I grab the pile of clothes and rush into the bathroom. I shut the door and quickly turn on the shower. Or as quickly as I can, how the fuck do I even work this shower?

    I get the shower to turn on, throw my clothes in a pile, and get into the shower. I wash quickly and then I pull the overly zippered clothing on. I glance in the mirror and run my fingers through my hair. I scowl at my reflection briefly before heading back out. Roman is laying on his bed, scrolling through his phone. He’s wearing a pair of slightly ripped blue jeans, another floral shirt, and his usual leather jacket. 

    “Alright Princey, what’s the deal with the zippers?” I point to the jacket and pants I’m currently wearing. 

    “The zippers? Well, you see, um, I may or may not have had a slight, just like a little, emo phase one summer.”

    “Really? You?”

    “What? Why can’t I be emo?”

    “Because you’re such a fucking hipster!”

    “How dare you, I am not a hipster.”

    “Now that’s funny.”

    “What makes you think I’m a hipster?”   
    “We can start with your hair, most normal guys don’t have shoulder length hair that they take super good care of. Second, fairy lights. Need I say more? Third-”   
    “Okay, stop, I get the point!”

    “But I could go on for so long. You’re ruining my fun!”

    “No, you’ve made your point. This is hipster bullying! Besides, we should probably be getting to school soon.”

    “Fine, you’re right, to school we go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyy, I missed last week! I'm clearly great at keeping to my schedule! But for real my wifi has been super spotty, until like mid-July I won't have stable wifi. Yay! 
> 
> Anyways, as always, feel free to yell at me for typos. But thank you all for sticking with this story and with me and thank you to everyone who bookmarks, comments, or kudos this!! It really all means a lot!
> 
> Sam out


	12. A Frozen Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: underage drinking, references to abuse and neglect, implied incest, Nazi joke, panic attack, references to death, talk of emancipation. 
> 
> Stay safe lovelies!

    Roman, as reckless as ever, drives us to school. He parks in his spot and Joan is already outside waiting for him. Roman and I step out of his car.

   “Roman! You didn’t text me back this morning. I was stopping by Starbucks. Remy lost his car again and he wanted his morning coffee. I didn’t know if you wanted something different, but I got you a caramel macchiato like you usually get. Oh, hey Virgil. I didn’t see you there. Sorry I didn’t get you a coffee. I didn’t know Roman was driving you to school. Wait, are those-are you wearing-Roman, those are your-”  
    “Joan, shut up.”

    “Oh my god, they are. I remember you wearing that exact outfit and you thought you were the coolest person. Fuck, how long ago was that? Like three years ago? I haven’t seen that outfit in so long. Didn’t you get rid of all of your emo clothes anyways?”

    “I will disown you as a friend. Stop talking. But I did, this is the only outfit I kept.”

    “Awww, are you embarrassed?” 

    “I’m never embarrassed, so shut up. Let’s just go find Remy, that idiot. He always loses his car.”

    “Did his parents take it or something?”

    “Who, Remy? Nah, that fucking idiot got drunk and he literally can’t remember where he last parked it. His parents are even richer than Roman’s and don’t give two shits about what he does. Although he does pay nicely for me to get him coffee when he can’t get it himself, so I’m not complaining.”

    “Let’s just go find him and Talyn. I don’t think either of them have properly met Virgil yet,” Roman starts walking as both Joan and I follow. I’m not looking forward to meeting new people.

    “Properly? What’s that supposed to mean?”

    “Well, Virgil called me and Remy picked up, so Virgil and Remy have talked before.”

    “Yikes, sorry Virgil. Remy’s an idiot. We love him anyways, I guess.”

    “Dad doesn’t though and it’s so funny.”

    “Oh my god, your dad hates Remy. I feel like your dad likes me best out of all your friends.”

    “Yeah, Pa has always loved Talyn though. And Terrance and Valerie. Pa just loves everyone though.”

    “Your dad has too much love for everyone,” I laugh softly at Joan’s comment, knowing full well the extent of that man’s love for everyone. Roman glances at me and I instantly feel my face heat up. I’m going to die by overheating from how much this stupid human makes me blush. I duck my head down and follow Roman and Joan into the school building. They head to the Theatre room. I glance at Roman in panic, I can’t go in there. He seems to read my thoughts and he gives me a small smile and gently takes my hand.

    “Don’t worry, I’m the King of Theatre, no one will bother you if you stick by me,” I tighten my grip in his hand and we walk into the room. I’m met with the sight of a bunch of props or set pieces, I’m not honestly sure which is which, and a bunch of students doing a variety of stupid things. Roman pulls us over to a back corner with only two other people. One is sitting in a chair with his arm draped over his eyes. The other person standing next to the chair must be Talyn. I recognise them from the pictures on Roman’s wall.

    “Hey, Talyn! How’ve you been?”

    “I’m okay, but I will be better after Joan gives Remy his coffee,” the guy sitting on the chair bolts up and groans.

    “Give me the fucking coffee and take my fucking money,” Joan laughs and hands who I assume is Remy one of the coffees. Talyn takes another, Roman grabs one, and Joan takes the last one and goes to throw the cardboard previously holding the drinks in the recycling bin.

    “Hey, Virgil. I know we had a big breakfast, but if you want some coffee just have some of mine,” he holds the cup out to me, he doesn’t have to reach far though since our hands are still connected. I’m about to shake my head to decline, but Roman starts talking first, “and don’t you dare refuse because you think you’ll be taking something of mine. I didn’t even want coffee that much this morning,” I sigh and use my free hand to take the cup and take a sip.

    “This is really good,” I take another small sip.

    “Have you never had coffee either?”  
    “Uh, not really, no.”

    “Oh, Virgil, you really didn’t get much when you were growing up did you?”

    “Not really, even when my mom was alive, it was tough.”

    “I wish I could do something to help you.”

    “Yeah, I wish you could too,” Roman looks like he wants to say something else, but Joan walks back over.

    “The bell is going ring in a few minutes, Talyn and Virgil, you both should head to class now, so you aren’t late,”

    “Wow, look at Joan being responsible for once,” Roman’s voice is lighthearted as he speaks, showing he isn’t too serious.

    “It’s only cause it’s not me. If it was me being late for class, I wouldn’t care.”

    “Alright, well I’m going to walk Talyn and Virgil to class. You want to stay with Remy and make sure he doesn’t die?”

    “Hey, I’m just really hungover. I’m not a child,” Roman, Talyn, and I start walking away as the two of them laugh at Remy.

    “You certainly act like it,” Joan’s voice and laugh follows us as we get near the door and right as we’re leaving we hear Remy talk,

    “Roman and Virgil act more like a couple than you and Talyn,” if Roman or Talyn notice what Remy said, neither show it. Roman pulls me out of the room by our still linked hands. We walk through the halls and we say goodbye to Talyn along the way. As soon as Talyn is in their class, I start pulling Roman along. I pull him up the stairs and towards the language hallway. I walk towards the end of the hall and I stop in front of the German classroom.

    “Wait, you take German?”

    “Well, yeah. We have to take at least two years of a language and I figured I would take German. I’m already so pale, I may as well truly become a Nazi, you know?” The German teacher storms into the hallway.

    “Herr Sanders, was hast du gesagt?”

    “Es tut mir leid, Frau Becker.”

    “Setzt euch!”

    “Ja, werde ich, eine Minute.”

    “Jawohl,” I turn back to Roman as Frau Becker walks back into the classroom. “She was yelling at me for making that Nazi joke.”

    “Ah, those darn Nazi jokes, but I guess you can speak German, that’s pretty cool.”  
    “Yeah, I guess. Anyways, I should probably go before I get in trouble. The bell’s about to ring anyways, you should head back to your class.”

    “I actually have Theatre right now.”  
    “I thought you had Theatre when I had chemistry?”   
    “I do, Joan and I take two Theatre classes. This period is improv. When you have chemistry, I just have a regular Theatre class.”

    “Okay, that makes sense. Well, go get to your class, Theatre Prince.”

    “Alright, goodbye my dark little storm cloud,” I blush as I turn and walk into the German classroom. After Roman and I part ways, my day passes in a blur of German class, advanced math, drivers ed,  personal financing, and my thoughts of Roman. The only good part about my day after Roman dropped me off is him texting me during lunch asking to meet after school to work on our project. My thoughts are consumed by him throughout the whole day. I feel a ghost of his hand holding mine all day. It felt so amazing and pure. Nothing in my whole life has ever felt more right than his hand in mine. But I could feel the stares of other students. I’m just me, I thought no one liked me, but according to Roman people are actually afraid of me. I guess they’re not wrong to fear me, I do have links to a gang. I’m not a good person to be around. So I could only imagine the school’s thoughts as Roman and I walked through the halls hand in hand.

 

    Mrs. Francis dismisses us as the bell rings at the end of the day. Me and the two other kids in that class rush out. Most people take personal financing online over the summer, but I just don’t have the money, nor would father ever let me, so I have to take it during the school year.

    Before I know it, I’m near the school library and I see Roman standing by the doors waiting for me. We walk in together and find a table near the back. We sit down and spend hours doing research and writing lyrics. By the time the library is closing, we’ve got a rough draft of our song done.

    “Hey, Virgil?”  
    “Yeah?”   
    “Papa texted me and asked if you want to join us for dinner again tonight? He was planning a picnic. I think he’s really taken a liking to you. Both my parents have. Can you come? I’ll drive you back home by the way.”

    “Um, why not? Your parents are amazing and I’d love to spend more time with you. Uh, you guys, I mean.”

    “Alright, I’m sure you meant all of us. But to Maximus, we go!”

    “Oh my god, you need to stop calling you car Maximus.”

    “Never!” I shake my head but follow him regardless of his childishness. When we reach his car, I slide into the passenger seat, buckle up, and hold on tight. Roman speeds off and all too quickly, we’re at his house. We both step out of the car, but before we can even get inside the house, Patton bursts out with a huge basket in one hand and a grumbling Logan in his other hand.

    “Come on kiddos! It’s picnic time!” Roman and I look at each, he shrugs his shoulders, and we both follow the adults. As we walk down the sidewalk, Roman leans over towards me,

    “There’s a park with a field only like five minutes from our house, in case you were wondering where we were going.”

    “Thanks, I _was_ a bit confused before,” we walk by huge house after huge house for a few more minutes before reaching the edge of a field. Patton rushes ahead and spreads out a giant red checkered blanket. He sets down the basket and begins to pull out food. Logan sits down next to Patton, Roman sits across from Patton, and I sit down next to Roman. Patton places sandwiches on plates and passes them around.

    “Virgil, I didn’t know what kind of sandwiches you like, so I made you a PB-J. If you want an actual sandwich, you’ll have to go the beach and ask for the _sand witch_ politely,” Logan groans in response to Patton’s pun, I laugh a bit and grab the plate Patton is handing to me with a mumbled thanks. In a few minutes, everyone is happily munching on their sandwiches and talking. Patton’s puns are just getting either worse or funnier, it depends on who you ask. Logan looks like he’s nearly about to walk away. Roman and I end up holding hands again, not that I’m complaining. Though my heart may combust with how much it’s beating. This evening seems so perfect, I wish the rest of my life could be like this.

    “So, Virgil kiddo, how old are you?” Patton brings me out of my thoughts.   
    “I’m 15, but I’ll be 16 in less than a month.”   
    “Wow, you’re pretty young. Did you skip a grade when you were younger? Most juniors are turning 17 soon.”

    “Yeah, I think I skipped kindergarten. I don’t really remember though.”

    “Remember? Didn’t your dad ever tell you?

    “Uh, no, not really. He’s never been too interested in my schooling and he tends to be pretty busy working or whatever.”

    “Well, that’s a shame. What does he do for a living though?”

    “He uh, he never really tells me much about his job.”

    “Does he work for the government?”

    “Um, not quiet. The two of us just don’t talk much, I guess.”

    “Has he ever remarried or is he your only guardian?”

    “Uh, he never - he never really um really remarried. He’s never - never home much, so I wouldn’t really know. Um, but yeah, he’s really my - my only guardian,” I can feel my heart rate increasing. What’s with all the questions? Does Patton know something? What is he trying to find out?

    “Do you visit any of your extended family much?”

    “Not since my uh my mom died. Father doesn’t, he doesn’t really take me places.”  
    “Patton, honey, I think you are frightening him. Maybe we can decrease the questions. He seems overwhelmed.”

    “Virgil, are you okay?” Logan and Roman’s voices kinda blur together as my breathing becomes too fast and the world becomes too much. The field starts to swim, so I close my eyes.

    Before I know it, I’m wrapped in familiar strong arms and a familiar scent. I open my eyes to see Roman’s green ones staring down at me.

    “Hey there, little storm, you doing better?”

    “I uh, what happened?”

    “You panicked, probably a panic attack, then you blacked out. Don’t worry though, you’re safe with us. We just want to help,” I slowly push myself out of Roman’s arms. I glance sheepishly down towards my lap and I fiddle with my sleeve.

    “Sorry, about that. I didn’t mean to freak out.”

    “Kiddo, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Please don’t ever think that you have to be sorry for freaking out. Heck, you’ve seen me ‘freaking out’. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all have feelings,” Patton looks pointedly at Logan who scoffs while Roman laughs and with that, the incident is forgotten.

    The rest of the time at the park is filled with laughs and smiles and happiness. At some point, Patton pulls out a bag of candy for us all to eat.

    “Hey, guys, what kind of singer sings about candy?”  
    “I don’t know, what Papa?”   
    “A candy _wrapper_. Get it?” He’s met with Logan throwing a piece of candy at his head.

    “Now, that wasn’t very _sweet_!”

    “Dear God, please stop.”

    “Nah, you’re too cute when you’re angry.”  
    “Dads, stop, that’s gross!” The banter continues as the sun sets, soon enough we’re walking back towards the Prince’s house. Logan is walking next to Roman and pointing out different constellations while Patton walks next to me.

    “Hey, Virgil?”

    “Yeah, Patton?”

    “I just wanted to let you know that, only if you really want to, you could emancipate yourself from your father. Again, only if you want and you must have a good reason. You’d be legally free. You’d have to wait till your 16th birthday though. And you will always have a place in our house for however long you want it. I know you’ve only been over a few times and you and Roman are still just new friends, but I don’t think anyone has ever made him smile as much as you have. We’re truly thankful for everything you’ve done for us in the short time you’ve been in our lives. We love you, Virgil,” I can feel those dreaded tears building in my eyes as Patton talks. He opens his arms to offer a hug and almost throw myself into his embrace. He smells and feels different than Roman, but still just as safe.

     And for the first time in my entire life, I wish I could just freeze time and live in this moment forever. Everything is perfect, I just wish wouldn’t end.

    But I guess the saying goes, “all good things must come to end”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And what a surprise, I missed another week of uploading! Who's a schedule, I clearly don't know her.
> 
> Anyways, I do actually have the next two chapters written, so they should be out on time. And be prepared for the angst and plot twists...MWAHAHAA
> 
> On another note, in case anyone was wondering I do live in America now, but I was born in Asia and I lived in both Germany and Austria for a while so I do speak German and the translation for what I wrote is here (sorry if it's rough, I've lost a lot of my German):
> 
> "Mr. Sanders, what did you say?"  
> "I'm sorry, Mrs. Becker."  
> "Sit down."  
> "Yes, I will, one minute."  
> "Very good."


	13. A Bad Game of Dream Daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings (does contain some slight spoilers): talk of murder, degrading talk, implied rape and underage rape, lots of cursing, mention of guns and implied shooting, drinking/drunk people, a slight fear of the dark, cheating, talk of a gang.

    Roman drives me home after dark, my bouncing leg shakes the whole car. I feel like the movement bothers him, but hasn’t said anything about it and I can’t bring myself to stop.

    “You could spend another night at my house.”

    “We both know I can’t do that.”

    “Maybe you could spend the next week at my house.”  
    “Now that really can’t happen.”

    “Maybe you could just live at my house forever.”

    “Princey, you gotta stop. I’ll be fine, it’s not like this isn’t my first time I’m going home. I have lived in that house for nearly 16 years now. It’s nothing new, I’m used to it.”

    “I think that makes it even worse.”  
    “Roman, just relax. If anything goes too wrong, I’ll let you know. But again, it’s nothing new. I’ll really be fine.”

    “Alright, whatever, just don’t like go and die on me or anything stupid. I need to you so that we can present our project together.”

    “Roman, I’m not gonna fucking die or anything. Besides, you can’t get rid of me that easily,” Roman laughs a little as he pulls up the curb a few streets away from my house like I had asked him as we had gotten into the car earlier.

    “Bye, Princey, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

    “Farewell, my dark little storm cloud,” I close the car door and begin the walk to my house.

    There are no lights on any of the streets in my neighbourhood, we aren’t a rich enough area to get them. I always get a little bit scared walking around at night, no matter how many times I do it. All the lights in the houses are turned off or dimmed due to closed blinds, hiding each house from the world. I finally reach my street and I see multiple cars in our driveway. Shit.

    I grit my teeth and keep walking. I open the door as quietly as possible to hear roars of laughter and the clanking of bottles. I shut the door behind me and I walk towards where I hear the most noise. I walk into our cramped dining room to see a bunch of drunk men. Father sits at one head of the table while the rest of the men pile around the rest of the table.

    “Well look at who finally decided to come home. Where have you been, boy?” father’s voice rings out above the noise, though his words are as slurred as they always are. The whole house reeks of alcohol and grime.

    “Hey Dee, what happened to the brat, he was so well behaved last time you let us play with him? He hasn’t even responded to you yet. Have you grown soft towards him, not beating him like ya used to?” howls of laughter fill the room.

    “Boy, go to my room, now,” though he didn’t yell this time, he left no room for argument. I scurry from the room without saying a single word and I walk down the hallway towards the bedroom, dreading what, or who awaits inside.

    I creak the door open and a man in a well-ironed suit sits disdainfully on father’s messy bed. He’s the same man that showed up at our front door only a few days ago. It feels like forever ago now.

    “Dear Virgil, you’ve worried your daddy while you were gone. And you worried me, how could you do that to me? Or to your father too I guess. But I thought we had a pretty little deal. You’d be a good whore, you’d do your math, you wouldn’t do anything wrong, and _I’d_ not murder you like your father and I did with your mother. What a shame about her, she wasn’t bad looking. She just had to pretend to be a Jesus 2.0, didn’t she? Well, she did have her death coming for her, I suppose. But you’re not your mother, are you? You’re a good little whore, aren’t you? I was really just beginning to trust you, Virgey. What shame you had to go and act like your mother. She always was just a nosey little bitch anyways.

    “Enough about your mother. I thought that at least your father could have raised you well. Maybe that good for nothing drunk really is just good for nothing. You are at least good for a decent fuck and some math problems. The only reason I kept Deegon, the guy who raised you, around after we became friends in high school is that he is always too drunk to understand what’s happening around him. He’s my little puppet. He does whatever the hell I tell him to. He does my messy work, including raising my own kid.

    “Maybe I shouldn’t have trusted him with my own kin. That may have been my mistake there, but who has time to run a gang  _and_ beat a kid? He’s probably taken it easier on you than I would have anyways. Maybe you should thank him and me for that little mercy.”

    “Wait, what?”

    “Oh, did you not hear me right. Deegon isn’t actually your father. I am. Did you really think someone as bright as you could come from _that_? No, my dear, you’re all mine. Mine and your mother’s. But we can pretend you don’t have any of that whore in you.”

    “I thought my mom was a good person? Why would she cheat?”

    “By your standards, she’s a great fucking person. Trust me, bitch, you weren’t her choice. But like I said before, your father is my little puppet and I can get him to do anything, so getting a good fuck or two out of your mother wasn’t hard. It was even easier to get her to have you. God, she actually cared for you. One of the many reasons we finally killed her.

    “Now, are you going to start behaving, so that I can trust you or will I just have to kill you like your damned mother?”

    “What?”

  
    “Just be the good little whore I know you can be, join my fucking gang, and do your damn math and your whole life will just be fucking peachy. Got it?”

    “No.”

    “Do you want to try and answer that question again?”

  
    “No, the answer is no. I won’t be your little ‘bitch’ anymore,” my apparently real father stands up and I know I’ve made a mistake. I regret whatever confidence I had to say no immediately. He reaches his hand into his jacket and pulls out a gun. He moves towards me and I hear a bang. The last thing I think before everything goes black is that I never told Roman I like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And look at that, I told y'all that I'd upload on time! Anyways, please don't kill me for the way this chapter ended!!! Or went in general. I promise it'll get better in a few chapters!!
> 
> Also, thank you to everyone who continues to read this story. I never expected this to get such positive feedback. So thank you for leaving kudos, commenting, and anything else! Y'all are so awesome and I love every one of you guys!


	14. Toeing the Line of Life or Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings (does contain some slight spoilers): descriptions and references to violence, slightly graphic description of a corpse, alcohol and mentions to people being drunk, threats, language, murder, handcuffs, and selling drugs. 
> 
> Stay safe y'all and lemme know if I missed anything!!!

    I wake up to a lot of sudden movement and pain throbbing through every part of my head. I can already feel a lump forming on the back of my head, where the butt of my real father’s gun hit me. Despite my pain, everything is dark, I assume there’s a blindfold around my eyes. I can also feel that there are small pieces of cloth stuffed in my ears and that there’s a large cloth in my mouth. I can’t see, hear, or say anything. My hands are tied behind my back and my legs are tied at the ankles. Based on all the movement, I think I’m in some part of a car, but there is no way for me to tell where I’m being driven.

    I’ve pushed any thought of the Prince’s out of my head upon waking up. I won’t taint the only good thing I have left. My real father and Deegon have already destroyed mom’s memory for me. And I’ve already accepted that I’ll never see any of the Princes again anyways.

    I’m not sure where I’m being taken or who is taking me, but I know nothing about this situation can be good. My father wasn't happy when I said no to him. Although I regret saying everything I did, it felt kinda good, I’ve never said no like that to anyone before. I doubt I’ll get another chance now. So much for not dying or doing anything stupid. I guess Roman will just have to present our project by himself.

    Eventually whatever car I’m in stops and I can feel it gets put in park. Several minutes later, hands are pulling me out from wherever I am. Their grip is gentle, it can’t be Deegon and I doubt it’s my father then. I can hear muffled voices, though the words aren’t clear. It feels like I’m thrown over someone’s shoulder and they begin walking. I’m put down and the muffled voices grow even more muffled until I can no longer hear them. I curl up into a little ball on the cold floor and after who knows how long I fall into a restless sleep.

 

    There are more hands grabbing me and muffled voices with unclear words. These hands are harsher, but still not harsh enough to be Deegon or my fathers. It feels like I’m being thrown over another shoulder and the walking begins again. When the walking stops, the hands put me down. This time on what feels like a bed or a couch or something more comfortable than the ground at least. Only a few moments pass before I feel more hands, harsh enough to be Deegon or my father’s. This time, they’re on my face. The pieces of cloth around my eyes and in my ears are being removed. I blink in the sudden light.

    “So, Virgil,” my name sounds so wrong coming from my real father’s voice. I can’t help but miss the way Roman says my name. Or even Patton or Logan. _No,_ I will not think about them. “I have an offer for you. A little, let’s say, compromise. In simple terms, Deegon noticed, miraculously considering how drunk he always is, that you’ve made a new friend and he just happens to have your friend’s licenses plate number. Now, we won’t track down your little friend and his family to kill them if you behave. Is that understood?”

    “Yes, sir.”

    “I don’t think anything I say will really show you the point I’m trying to make, so let me just show you the consequences your actions can have if you fuck up, even a little bit, follow me,” he cuts the rope at my ankles and leaves the room, I stand up and follow him out. I look around the hallway as we walk through it. The walls are a dirty beige with nothing on them. I almost bump into my father as he stops in front of a staircase. He sends me a glare and starts walking up. I quickly follow him as quietly as I can. We reach the top to see another hallway exactly like the one below, only this one has windows. I assume we were in the basement then. He takes off down the hallway and I scramble to keep up until he stops again, this time in front of a closed door. He knocks loudly and I flinch at the noise. The door soon swings open and a large man I don’t recognise steps out and walks down the same hallway we just came through. Father steps into the room and opens the door wider in invitation. I step in slowly before father grabs my wrist and pulls me all the way, slamming the door behind me. No lights are turned on and no sounds come from the room either.

    Suddenly the lights all turn on and my eyes are flooded in light. I blink for a few seconds before I look around the room. I’m greeted with the sight of who I once thought was my father hanging from a rope and blood dripping off his feet. I turn away as quick as I can. I refuse to try and see where the blood is coming from.

    My actions killed someone, even if that someone was an asshole. But I basically killed someone. And if I make one mistake, more people will die. Roman or Logan or Patton will be hanging in that place. They’ll never smile or laugh again. And that would be my fault.

    “Well, I think you now know what will happen if you step out of line. Now that I think I can finally trust you not to mess up, let’s get you situated into your new lifestyle. Again, follow me,” I numbly follow father out of the room. He leads me back down the stairs and back into the room I was in before. He gestures to a chair resting in front of a desk in the corner,

    “Sit.” I do as I’m told and within moments I hear and feel the click of handcuffs securing my legs to the legs of the chair. Father leans against the desk and looks down at me.

    “So, now that you know I’m your father, I figured I might as well give you a proper introduction now that you have no place to go. My name is Victor Price and I am your father, Virgil Price. I’m the leader of The Royals, a nice, friendly, family run gang. My father raised me to maintain his gang after he died and I raised you, shit, I didn’t raise you. You were raised to take over the gang in case I die. But God knows Deegon is constantly too fucking drunk to get even the simplest of instructions right. You see, the two of us go way back. We met in middle school. I rarely showed up, but when I did, I ended up sitting next to Dee in most of my classes. I didn’t mind too much, he wasn’t too fucking idiotic back then. We become acquaintances and we corresponded occasionally. In high school, he found the beautiful treasure that is alcohol. I graduated on time and everything and then I got my own apartment while I helped my father out with the gang. One day, Dee got kicked out of his house and I fucking housed him for a while. He then met your shitty excuse of a mother around the same time my dad got killed. So I bought him and your stupid mother that fucking house that you used to live in with some of the gang’s money in return for them raising you. God that was a mistake. Don’t let a fucking monkey do a human’s job.

    “Anyways, let’s get you started on calculating our profit of this past week’s cocaine sales.”

    “Yes, Sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, so you might have noticed that I'm posting...and it's not a Sunday. What? Well, I have like three more chapters fully written and posting once a week is literally killing me because I just wanna post sooner, so I am. I'll post the next chapter on either Thursday or Friday. And I'll post the chapter after that on Sunday like normal.  
> I don't know if I'll continue posting like this after this week, but I'll let you know soon. 
> 
> But anyway, I promise the story will mostly get better soon (cough @I_read_fanfics cough). Virgil is almost safe again.
> 
> And like normal, thank you to everyone for supporting this story, you guys are the reason I'm getting all of this done. Your feedback makes me so happy like ya'll don't even understand. I love you all!!!


	15. The Rambling Thoughts of a Kidnapped Kid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: I'm going to start by saying this whole chapter is written in a sort of jumping from thought to thought sort of style where you're sorta suppose to question Virgil's sanity, implied underage rape, reference to murder and death, super self-depreciating thoughts, cognitive dissonance (will be explained later in the story), and learned helplessness (will also be explained later).
> 
> As always, stay safe and let me know if I missed something. Enjoy!

    It’s been weeks since everything happened. Since that awful day when everything was taken from me, who I thought I was, who I once thought my dad was, and the only people since my mom and grandmother to love me. I just feel so alone. I miss Roman more than I ever thought I could. I had known him for almost no time. How could I miss someone this much? I miss his stupid smile and stupid hair and stupidly beautifully green eyes and maybe nothing of his is really stupid, but I miss it all anyways.

    My 16th birthday has come and gone. I’m sure Roman would have done something for it. I wonder what he’s thinking right now. He’s probably mad at me for not telling him where I am. Actually, he’s probably lost interest. He has so many better friends, why would he even remember me. _Fuck, the project_. He’s probably mad at me for leaving him alone to finish the project. It was written for me to play on the piano and for him to sing. He must have had to rewrite it for his ukulele.

    I wish I could have heard him sing the finished song. His voice is so beautiful. His face is so beautiful. _He_ is so beautiful.

    I shake my head and focus back on the papers on the desk. I can’t afford to get behind. I can’t afford to get distracted. _I can’t afford to mess up_. Lives are at stake. I won’t kill the Princes. I won’t kill more people.

    I have to do everything I’m told in order not to kill more people. I have to work. I have to sit here and do their work. I’ll kill people if I don’t.

    Numbers, numbers and more numbers. That’s all I see anymore. I sleep, eat, and breathe numbers. The only times when numbers aren’t consuming me are the times when I’m being people’s _whore toy_. I guess it’s no more than I deserve. I’ll never be good enough for someone like Roman.

    If I thought living with Deceit, which is what I’ve started calling him because he deceived me for so many years, was bad, I really didn’t know the definition of bad. Father wasn’t joking when he said that Deceit took it easier on me. I just wanna go back home.

    I kind of wish I could see grandmother again. I really miss her. She was always so nice to me. She would let me eat however much I wanted. She never made me feel like a burden. She let me be loud and talk.

    I miss mom too. She was always so much better than Deceit. I always ended up taking care of her, but she still loved me.

    God, I need to stop getting distracted. I need to work. I need to get used to this new lifestyle. There’s nothing but working for The Royals planned for the rest of my life. Shitty meals and a crappy bed. Lonely numbers and a lonely heart.

     I watch my hand write out numbers as my mind continues to wonder. Daydreaming is all I have here. All my other freedom is gone, but I can still think. They can never take that from me. Even if they took who I’m thinking about from me.

    No, they didn’t take Roman and Patton and Logan from me. I never owned them, they were never mine to claim, I could never do anything to deserve being around them anyway. I’m too broken and scarred. Who would want to be around someone so used and useless?

    The Prince’s house is really pretty though. I always felt warm and safe and happy. The walls in their house are nice colours too. The paint in this room is such an ugly off-white. Imperfect. Like me. But there’s not even a window in here. No light, other than the yellowed overhead light.

    My room is so silent. But the silence is too loud. The rare voices I hear are too quiet. That doesn’t even make sense, but it’s so true. Everything just feels wrong. Nothing feels right.

    I don’t feel good enough for anything. I feel inadequate. I feel broken. I feel weak. I feel too young. I feel too dumb. I feel like I’ve done too many bad things. I feel like I’ve thought too many awful things. I don’t feel good enough for anything.

    My world is spinning out of control. I’m losing sight of what anything means. I’m losing a grasp on my sanity. Nothing makes sense anymore and I don’t know what to do.

    The numbers are my life now. Do as I’m told and no one gets hurt. I killed someone. I’m going to kill other people if I mess up. I can’t mess up.

    I’m such a disappointment. I get everything wrong. I’m such a failure. I’m going to mess up. I’m going to kill more people. I’m not good enough for this. I always mess up. I’m not strong enough for this.

    Someone, please help me. No one’s going to help me. I’m stuck here all alone. I’m not worth saving. Is the rest of the world even any better?

    This is the best I’m going to get. People here put up with my burdensome self. I’m fed. I have shelter. I have a purpose here. I don’t have that outside of this house. Out there, I’m always cold and alone and damaged and useless. I wasn’t doing anything worthwhile when I was free.

    Why would I want to leave here? All that would be in the real world is pain and hunger and heartbreak. I’d be more hurt out there than in here. I’m safe here.

    Father needs me here. He wouldn’t let anything dangerous harm me. I’m protected here. I’m needed here. It feels nice to be needed. To truly have a reason for existing. I have my work here. That’s my purpose. It’s something I can actually do, unlike anything I try to do.

    I don’t remember the last time I talked. I always just nod. There’s no reason for me to talk. There’s no need for me to talk. It’s probably better if I don’t talk. That will make everyone happier. My voice is just annoying. Anything I would have to say is just annoying.

    It’s for the best that all I’m doing is working. This way I don’t talk. This way I don’t bother people. This way I’m not useless. This way I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about what I want.

 

I want to work.

 

~~I want to go home.~~

 

I need to work.

 

~~I need to go home.~~

 

Work

 

~~Think~~

 

Work

 

~~Feel~~

 

Work

 

~~Cry~~

 

Work

 

~~Fail~~

 

Work

 

~~Murder~~

 

Work

 

~~I just want it all to end~~

 

Work

 

~~Please make the pain stop~~

 

Work

 

~~I don’t care anymore~~

 

Work

 

~~I just want to stop~~

 

Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, not gonna lie, I enjoyed writing this chapter more than I should have. I got a lot of inspiration out of my own diaries and other personal writing. It was a cool experience to see a lot of my own direct thoughts reflected through someone else.
> 
> And for those of you concerned, it does get better next chapter. I promise.
> 
> Anyways, thank you all for still supporting me and another huge thank you to everyone who comments, it seriously makes my day!


	16. The Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: a fire (well duh based on the chapter title), confusion, and an ambulance. 
> 
> Stay safe and enjoy!

    I can kind of hear the sound of sirens.

    It sounds like there’s a lot of running upstairs.

    The sirens are getting louder, but the sounds in the house are getting quieter.

    I can smell smoke. It’s really faint, but it’s there.

    The smoke alarm is going off.

    The smoke is getting worse.

    I can’t breathe very well.

    I hear more sirens.

    There are more sounds in the house.

    Is someone coming to get me?

    I can’t get out of this chair.

    There definitely has to be a fire.

    The smoke keeps getting worse.

    I really can’t breathe well anymore.

    I hear footsteps getting closer.

    It sounds like someone keeps slamming open doors.

    Maybe someone’s looking for me.

    Why would anyone be looking for me?

    I’m just gonna put my head down a rest for a little while.

    I feel really tired.

    No one’s going to save me.

    My door flies open.

    Is that...Roman?

    Why is he wearing a mask?

    He’s shaking my shoulders, when did he get so close?

    “Where’s the key?”

    The key? He got into the room just fine.

    Oh, for the handcuffs around my legs. Well obviously.

    I point to where they’re hanging by the door.

    I’m in Roman’s arms now.

    When did he pick me up?

    Look, there’s a front door.

    I can see Patton and Logan.

    I’ve missed them.

    Where did the white ceiling come from?

    Where did Roman go?

    At least Patton is still here.

    Why is Patton crying?

    Who is that strange woman?

    Why is she strapping me to this bed?

    No, I want Roman. I want to be free.

    What’s happening, I’m so confused.

    I’m feeling really tired again.

    I think I’m just gonna rest my eyes for a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I promised it would get better (at everyone trying to fight me). And it's only going to get even better from here on out. Mostly.
> 
> As for my plans for updating, I have none yet. I got an email yesterday, asking me to join an orchestra clinic thing (my main instrument is violin btw in case you cared). So, I will be incredibly busy and I don't know how much time I'll have to write. I also do not have any other chapters finished, I kinda fell into a really bad depressive episode and I've barely gotten out of bed for two weeks. I'm feeling a bit better now, but I'm not as ahead on my writing as I would like to be because of it. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading this whole long note if you did and thanks for just reading this story in general. Like normal, a HUGE thank you to everyone who comments, y'all make my life so much better, I love each of you!!!


	17. Roman Has a Very Soft Shirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: hospital, talk of IVs, restraints, slight anxiety attack, passing out, mentions of murder, self-deprecating thoughts, police, mentions of violence, mentions of injuries, mentions of a gang, mentions of fire. 
> 
> Stay safe lovelies and let me know if I missed anything!

    Everything hurts. Everything is too bright and I haven’t even opened my eyes. What’s that really loud beeping noise? I suppose I should open my eyes so I can see what it is. 

    That’s so much effort. Maybe I could just fall back asleep?

    No, I wanna know. This is taking so much effort, is the noise even worth it? 

    Finally, I got them open. Where the fuck am I? Okay, I’m laying in a bed with white sheets. So obviously not my bed. Not Roman’s bed either. But there’s Roman sitting in the chair. Aw, I think he’s asleep. That’s really adorable. No, I shouldn’t think things like that. He’s too good for me.

    Wait, what is Roman even doing here? Where is here? Did I mess up? I bet I messed up. Father captured Roman and Roman’s gonna get killed. Patton and Logan are probably already dead. Oh my god, I killed more people. I killed the Princes. That strange beeping is getting faster. Fuck I must have messed up so badly. I can’t watch Roman get killed. I can’t breathe. Shit people are running in. They know I’m awake. They’re going to kill Roman. I won’t let that happen. I have to stop them. I’m going to get up and stop them. Jesus my legs won’t work. No, there are hands are on me. I don’t wanna be touched. Finally some good news, everything is turning black. 

 

    God, my head hurts. Alright, I’ve gotta open my eyes again. 

    That was easier than before. Thank anything holy and unholy, Roman is still here. Well, they probably want to kill him with me watching. I swear that won’t happen.

    “-gil, earth to Virgil! You Gucci?”

    Oh shit, he was talking to me and I was panicking.

    “Hi,” yikes, sounds like I’m 12 again with that voice crack. 

    “Here.” He’s handing me a glass of water. That would be nice. I can’t lift my hand. What’s happening?

    “Oh, sorry. The nurses strapped you down so you couldn’t get out of the bed again. You had managed to rip out all your IVs. They didn’t want to have to redo them again. I can help you drink if you want.” I nod in response and he brings the cup to my lips. I quickly empty the cup and look back at Roman.

    “Feeling any better?” I give another nod. “Good, I’ll go grab papa and dad then. Are you okay by yourself for a few moments? Or do you just want me to text them?” I’m fine by myself.

    “Please don’t leave.” No, that’s not what I meant.

    “Alright, Virgil. I’ll just text ‘em real quick then.” Roman picks up his phone, he types something, and puts it back down. “Is there anything else you need right now?”

    “Get these things off me, please. I don’t like them.”

    “The restraints?” I nod once again. “I’ll have to call in a nurse. Are you okay with a nurse being in here right now?” I give another nod. Roman stands up and clicks a button on a panel of buttons on the side of the bed I’m on. He sits back on the incredibly uncomfortable looking chair. This bed isn’t very comfortable for that matter. The blankets are all scratchy. I pick at a loose thread by my fingers as we wait for a nurse.

    My fidgeting is interrupted by a nurse walking in.

    “Hi, Virgil! My name is Derionna. I’m super glad to see you awake. I’m just going to take these off real quick, then I’ll be able to get you some more water. Is there anything else you’ll need?” I shake my head and she quickly frees my arms and grabs the empty glass. “Alright, you’ve had a lot of strong pain medication, so you may feel a little out of it for a while. I’ll leave you to rest with your family for now, but the doctor will be in to talk with you and your parents later. He’ll be able to explain a lot more than me. Okay, bye for now! If you need anything at all, just press the button right here.” She points to a button next to the bed before leaving the room. She had filled the water glass in the bathroom attached to the room we’re in while she was talking. What was she even talking about with ‘my family’. They wouldn’t be here. At least I hope father isn’t here. 

    “So, uh, anything else I could do?” I glance up at Roman, he looks so lost and helpless. I don’t think I really need anything. Actually, I am pretty cold, maybe like a blanket or a jacket or something would be nice?

    “I wanna hug.” What?

    “A hug?” No.

    “Yes.” What, stop.

    “Virgil, I don’t want to hurt you and you’re in a bed.” Yeah, don’t hug me.

    “I don’t care. Cuddles.” Omg, what am I saying?

    “Okay, you gotta make some room. I’m not as small as you.” No, don’t come here. I don’t want cuddles. I’m moving to the side to make room anyways, great, okay. No, don’t wrap your arms around me. Oh, actually that feels really nice. Don’t move again. 

    “Is this good?”

    “Yes.” If anyone ever asks, no I’m not snuggling further into his chest...what, he’s really warm, okay?

    After a few moments, Patton and Logan walk into the room. I hear them, rather than see them. I just can’t be bothered to lift my head up. 

    “Heya kiddo! How’re you doing?” I try to say fine, but I’m pretty sure Roman’s shirt muffles it all. I shift a little so that my face is no longer tucked into his chest. 

    “‘m fine.” 

    “I don’t quite believe that statement, but on a completely different note, I would like to clear this up as soon as possible, the only way we are able to be in this room at this very moment is because we told the nurse we are related to you. So if anyone brings up the topic of your family, do not be alarmed.” That would explain what the nurse said earlier.

    “...Okay? Thank you, Logan?”

    “Yes, you are quite welcome.”

    “And by the way, I was going to make you cookies and sneak them in, but since the doctors said you were so malnourished, we decided to wait till you came home with us. We can all bake some cookies then.” Go home? What is Patton talking about?

    “Wait, go  _ home _ with you?” There, I finally said something right. 

    “Well, only if you want to. It’s more of an offer. We’ll go over everything later with an officer.”   
    “An officer?” What the ever loving fuck?

    “Yeah, kiddo. The police have gotten involved. It’s nothing worry about, you’re not in trouble. There’s just been a lot that has happened.” What kind of trouble have I caused?

    “A lot that has happened?”

    “Yes, with your kidnapped, your father’s disappearance, and all of the fires. There’s also been an increase in gang activity lately. They simply want to know what happened.” Ha, ‘ _ simply _ want to know’. Logan clearly doesn’t understand what’s happened.  Wait, fires? I thought there was only one?

    “Fires? As in plural?”

    “There were three bad fires,” Roman’s voice is soft when he speaks, so unlike him. “Someone lit the house we found you in on fire as we got there. Then we were later told that your old house was lit on fire. All your stuff in there was destroyed. I’m so sorry, Virgil.” The suit mom gave me was in there. That was the only thing I had left from her. I feel a sharp pang in my chest at the thought, but I ignore it. 

    “I really didn’t have much anyways. Just a few outfits and my phone really. But where was the third fire? Roman?” 

    “Our house, they don’t have any evidence yet, but they suspect it was the same person for all three fires.”

    “Roman, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I dragged you and your parents into this. I’m sorry I messed up and ruined your lives and-” someone walking into the room cuts me off, though Roman’s face looks pained. 

    “Hi, Virgil, I’m Jamahl, I’m your doctor. Would it be safe to assume that you two are his parents or guardians?” 

    “Uh, not really.”

    “Patton, just say no,” Logan sighs as he talks, sounding very tired, he then turns to Jamahl, “no, we are not his parents. But due to certain circumstances, he has no legal guardians at the moment and we are seeking to fill that role.” 

    “Um, okay. Well, I suppose that’s being handled later this afternoon?”

    “Yes, this whole conversation will be held at that time.”

    “Alright, then let’s move onto the medical stuff. That  _ is _ what I’m here for. Virgil, do you want anyone in the room for this conversation?” No, I don’t want them to hear about my mistakes.

    “I don’t mind.” Not what I wanted to say. And I totally don’t snuggle further into Roman. 

    “Do you two want to sit down?” Patton and Logan wordlessly obey and Jamahl looks back to me, he gives Roman a strange look in the process. Roman’s arms tighten around me in response to the raised eyebrow. “So, Virgil. You’re here due mostly to signs of a recent concussion, malnutrition, sleep deprivation, and respiratory issues. At least those are the prominent and pressing physical injuries. The concussion should heal in another weak or two, just don’t do too much. The malnutrition will take a few days, we’ve got you hooked up to some IVs right now, eventually, you’ll start eating real food again. For the sleep deprivation, you’ll just need some rest. As for the respiratory issues, there’s nothing too wrong. You just breathed in a lot of smoke which might make your lungs and throat feel scratchy for a little while. You do also have some burns and other healing wounds on your skin. None are infected and they should all heal within a short amount of time. 

    “You’ll be held here for another night or two, depending on your recovery time. We want to monitor your eating and make sure you don’t have any serious brain damage from the concussion. 

    “We did give you some strong pain medication, which I think Derionna talked to you about earlier. Is that correct?”   
    “She talked about it a bit, I guess.”   
    “Well, it should help ease most of the pain from the concussion, scratchy lungs, stomach aches, and all the burns and cuts. 

    “Alright, that should be everything. I’ll be back later this afternoon, but until then, if you need me, just let a nurse know. Does anyone have any questions before I leave?” No one says anything in response. “I’ll just be on my way. See you guys later.” 

    As soon as he turns and walks out, I hide my face back in Roman’s shirt. 

    “Hey kiddo, Logan and I are going to head back home for a little bit. We’re going to go grab some stuff for you. We’ll be right back, okay?” I hum in acknowledgement. I feel Patton ruffle my hair before I hear their footsteps walking away. I snuggle impossibly closer to Roman. I don’t think I ever want to move again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...heyyyyyyy. Wassup everyone? 
> 
> Alright, skipping the BS, I'm sorry for not uploading in like forever and also not uploading on a Sunday like normal, but I just finished editing this chapter and I just wanted to get it out.
> 
> Speaking of this chapter, I literally rewrote like it at least three times and I'm still not happy with how it turned out. I don't know why I had such a hard time with this chapter, but I just can't get it to a place where I like it. Which is why I haven't posted in literally forever. 
> 
> Anyways, Virgil is now safe! And happiness will soon follow, I promise. There's just gonna a bit of angst first...
> 
> ALSO, I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME AND THIS STORY FOR SO LONG!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH!!! YOU GUYS LEFT LITERALLY SO MANY NICE COMMENTS LAST CHAPTER. I COULDN'T ASK FOR BETTER READERS!!!


	18. Author's Note

Heyyyyy

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

Alright, I know it's been awhile! So, if you care much I started school again, working takes a lot of my time, I've been sick a fair amount recently, my mental health has been a little worse than normal, blah blah blah. 

 

Excuses and excuses, but long story short, I'm human and life gets in the way sometimes. 

 

But my mental health has been getting back to my normal (keywords being my normal, it'll never be great), I'm still sick, but that just means I get a chance to write while I'm stuck in bed, I'm working fewer shifts, I'm getting used to being in school again, blah blah blah. 

 

Now, the thing you all are here for...I'LL BE POSTING THE NEXT CHAPTER IN 24 HOURS!!

 

As I am writing this note out, I have the chapter written and I'm part of the way through editing it. I hope that by the time I'm posting this note, I'll be done editing it and I'll have had my sister edit it but who knows. It will be done by Saturday night so I can post it on Sunday though. I'll let you know in the actual chapter when I'm uploading next if I know when I'm uploading next. Life is truly an unpredictable thing. 

 

And by the way, it is around 3,000 words, so it's decently long for my chapters. 

 

Anyways, I guess I'll be seeing you guys again in 24 hours!!


	19. The Tragic Backstories 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: abuse, violence, gangs, murder, rape, kidnapping, police, self-doubt, and as a whole, this chapter is kind of just a summary of Virgil's life so most of the trigger warnings that I've used for any other chapter apply to this one. I think you've made it this far without issues, you should be fine.

    “Would you like anyone else in the room while you give your statement?”

    “Yes, please. They need to know this and I don't want to tell the story more than once. Could all three Princes be in the room? Please?”

    “Of course, Virgil. We’ll begin in five minutes. Is that okay?”

    “Yeah, of course.” The police officer leaves the room and I snuggle further into Roman’s chest. 

    Earlier this morning, when Patton and Logan left to pick some stuff up, I fell asleep in Roman’s arms. I hadn’t woken up till maybe two in the afternoon and I had only woken up because Patton and Logan had come back. I actually woke up to the flash of a camera. Roman had also fallen asleep and Patton decided he needed a picture. I had fallen right back asleep after Patton apologised and started running his hand through my hair. 

    I woke up a few hours later to Patton gently shaking both Roman and I awake. I had laughed as Roman mumbled for five more minutes, reminding me of the first time I fell asleep in his arms on his couch. 

    And here we are now, waiting for the police officers so I can give my official statement of what happened. I don’t know how to feel about it all. I don’t want to tell anyone what happened. I don’t want to talk about my failures. How can I just tell everyone about how badly I messed up? 

    It’s one thing to admit all my failures to a bunch of strangers, but to also admit all my failures to the Princes is almost too much. As much as I don’t want them to know, I know either I or the police will have to tell them eventually and I’d rather it be me. I know I can’t say everything twice, so I guess I’m just going with the least awful option I have. 

    But I don’t want them to know. I don’t want pity to cloud their eyes. I don’t want hatred to fill their glares. Who knows how they’ll react? My story isn’t necessarily pretty, to say the least. I don’t want to scare off the three people who I probably care most about.

    Logan is a little odd and hard to talk to sometimes and I haven’t really talked with him much, but I really want him to tell me about the stars and mythology and all the other things he knows. I remember when he helped Patton that one night when he had a slight panic attack. His voice is so soft. It always sounds slightly soft. I wouldn’t want to hear him angry for being the way I am and who I am.

    Patton offered to bake cookies with me. Mom never offered to do that. The most she really did was make me hot cocoa. Deceit clearly never did that. I think the nicest thing he’s ever done was allow me to take a cold shower when he was home. Patton has already done so much more for me than either of my parents did. Even grandmother didn’t do as much. She tried her best, but she just couldn’t do much. I really want to bake those cookies with Patton, I don’t want him to take back that offer.

    Roman looks at me like I’m his whole world and his smile is so happy. When he’s around me, he smiles like he does in those photos on his wall. I’m not sure why he does, but I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want most of the only warmth in my life to leave. I don’t want to lose the softness in his eyes. I don’t want to lose our warm cuddles. I don’t want to lose our piano playing and singing. He makes me feel happy and like maybe I’m worth something. He makes me feel like maybe I deserve love. He makes me feel loved. I don’t want to lose that.

    I just don’t want to lose this whole crazy family who has taken over my heart. I don’t want to lose this happiness. I don’t want to lose what feels like my only happiness. 

    Maybe I don’t deserve them. Scratch that, I know I don’t deserve them. I can’t deserve them. I don’t get to be happy. Not after everything that I’ve done. It’s all too good for me. Even if they don’t turn me away instantly, they’ll slowly lose interest in me. I have nothing to offer other than my body. Maybe they’ll keep me around for that. God knows that was the only reason Deceit really kept me around. Fuck, I really just want to die thinking about all that. All the times he used me.  _ They _ used me. I’m nothing more than a sad, used, broken-

    The door opening breaks my downward spiral of thoughts. Has it really only been five minutes since the cop left? I guess it’s hell time. 

    “Virgil, are you ready?” I sigh and murmur out a yes. I guess I should just it get it all done with, it’s now or never I suppose. 

    “Would you like your...uh, Roman? To stay where he is? Or would you like him sitting with his family?” Roman’s grip tightens on me, but the word ‘his’ hits me hard. Of course, the Princes are his family. They’re not mine. Roman shouldn’t be tainted by me.  _ The Princes _ shouldn't be tainted by me. Besides, I don’t think I can handle the inevitable rejection while I’m in his arms. At least with him not right next to me, I can look away and avoid seeing the hatred in his eyes. 

    “I’d rather if he sat with his family,” I mumble the words at a hardly hearable volume. I have to look away from Roman though, he looks like a betrayed puppy. Or a kicked puppy. He looks like a kicked puppy. He looks like I kicked him. He reluctantly lets go of me, gets out of the bed, and sits next to Patton on one side of the bed. A few police officers sit on the other side of the bed. 

    “Where do you want me to start?”

    “Where ever you want. We’ll listen to everything you have to say.” I duck my head down, think about what I’m going to say, and I start talking,

    “um, okay. I’ll start with some stuff Roman already knows, I’m going to explain my parents first, I guess?

    “Well, they met in high school. My father was pretty shit back then, he was already slightly involved in a gang, he drank alcohol and did drugs, and was overall just a bad kid. My mom saw him and she wanted to be his saviour. She thought she could save him and make him a better person, but it was so much more complicated. I’ll get to that later. She had me and they both raised me. Father was never around and when he was, he was always angry. He never really did anything to me, other than yell. I used to hide in my closet at night because I could always hear him hurting my mom and yelling at her. She gave up on trying to save him, she just wanted to keep me safe. She tried to let me have a normal childhood, but I think the nicest thing she ever really did for me was make my hot cocoa when father was out. She also got me a suit for my 10th birthday. Is was really big on me at the time. I think she knew she didn’t have much time left. 

    “A few months after my tenth birthday, things kinda went a little wrong. Father had friends over, like a lot of other nights. I was hiding in the closet like normal, father’s friends didn’t like me much. They never wanted to see me. But that night was louder. There were more screams and noises. Eventually, it got really quiet, so I snuck out of my room. Father normally wanted me to clean up after his friends left and I had thought they had left. I snuck out of room to clean up, but one of father’s friends was still there. One I had never seen before. My mom was in her bed and the strange man had a gun, they didn’t see me standing there and they uh, they k-killed her. They shot her in the head and made it look like a suicide. No one ever thought any differently. We were a poor family involved in lots of crime. And with all the shouting always happening in my house, no one was surprised and no one bothered to care. 

    “After she uh died, my father stopped letting me see my mom’s mom. He cut off any ties I had to anyone outside of him. He didn’t even let me go to school a lot. I always had to clean the house and take care of him. That was kind of around the time he started hitting me. It really only got worse as the years went on. The hitting got worse and other things started happening. 

    “When I was around 12 years old, that was the first time he uh, it was the first time he kinda um used me? Uh, after that, he would sorta “share” me with his friends. My only worth became “a good fuck”. That was kinda around the time I became interested in math. The numbers stayed steady and never really changed. It’s all just patterns and rules and organisation. I found some relief in doing math. It relaxed me, I guess. Father picked up on it after a little while and suddenly I had another purpose. 

    “I know I’ve mentioned father’s friends a few times and well, uh, he became fully apart of a gang once he left high school. He was sorta friends with the gang leader? The leader was the one who killed my mom actually. I only saw him the one time, until much more recently. But anyways, father was involved in a gang. They dealt drugs and were involved in some sex trafficking and just overall violence and gang stuff. I don’t know the full extent of what they all do. I really just handled the finances. Oh, I’m getting ahead of myself there. 

    “Uh, so things just kept getting worse and worse, and then I got partnered with Roman for a school project. We exchanged phone numbers and we started working on the project. We got together after school and the project was going really well. Roman had me over to his house to work on it and just hang out, which was really nice actually. Father never really let me have friends as a kid and even as I got older, I just never knew how to talk to people. Roman is really the first person who I have ever texted or hung out with. And both Patton and Logan were really nice to me. But that all just made things so much harder. 

    “I found myself becoming more and more reluctant to go back to my house. Father noticed it too. Roman drove me home once and father took note of his license plate number. I didn’t know at the time. But father got even worse while I was hanging out with Roman. 

    “Around the same time, people from the upper ring of the gang had apparently, “noticed my talent with math”. I didn’t realise how much of a lie that was till later. But they came to our house. Well, they came twice actually. But the second time was when everything kinda went wrong. 

    “Roman drove me home after a few days, at least I think it was a few days, of staying at his house. But I walked in and some of father’s friends were over and father told me to go to his bedroom. So I did and the leader of the gang was sat in there. He kinda went on this whole long rant, but essentially, he told me that he’s my dad. 

    “Basically what happened was he forced my mom to have um or to uh do stuff...with him and then I was born but he claimed he was ‘too busy’ for me so he had my ‘father’ raise me. After he explained all that, he offered for me to join his gang and for some stupid reason I decided to stand up for myself for once and say no. He didn’t like that much and he kinda just hit me with his gun, I passed out I guess, and he took me to wherever he took me. He also took Deegon, the guy I once thought was my father, though I don’t know the details about that. 

    “I just know that my actual father brought me to a room and explained that if I ever messed up, he would kill the Prince family. Deegon gave my real father Roman’s license plate number before he-uh nevermind about that, but I guess my real father managed to find their house and he was very serious about his threat. To show how serious he was, he decided to show that he wasn’t afraid to kill someone and he killed Deegan. According to him, Deegon’s death was my fault because I said no to joining the gang. Death to those I love was the price for my mistakes. 

    “After that, he locked me in a room in a basement in whatever house he was keeping me in. He chained me to a chair and that’s where I did all my work, ate, and slept. The only times I would leave my chair were if someone, um, if someone wanted to-wanted to have fun...with me, I guess. I was expected to handle all the financing of the gang, counting the money they got and figuring out what expenses needed to be covered. I didn’t do much else, other than doing my math and being there ‘good fuck’. They fed me a little bit and gave me some water. Sleep wasn’t great, but I did get some of it in between working and being used. There really isn’t much to tell of my time there, it was pretty uneventful. The only difference between my time there and the rest of my life was that I had a different father treating me badly and I was in a different house.  

    “I don’t really know how long I stayed there for. But I guess you guys already know the rest of what happened. I briefly remember some smoke and Roman, then waking up here.” As I finished my statement, my head was hung even lower than from when I started telling the whole story, scared of any reaction. 

    “Thank you, Virgil, we only have one question right now. Do you know the name of your birth father?”

    “Uh, yeah, Victor Price. My last name is really Price.”

    “That will be all from us for today. We will be in touch with you on a later date to ask you some more questions and talk with you about a few more things, mostly concerning where you’ll be living and legal consequences money. For now, we’re just going to let you rest.” I close my eyes as I hear the footsteps of the cops walk out of the room and I hold my breath as I wait for the reactions of the Princes to my story. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, look at that! I did finish editing this chapter. As for when I'll be posting the next chapter...who even knows. I'm hoping that it'll be in a week, but like I don't have much written of the next chapter so we'll see. 
> 
> Anyways, sorry for this chapter not really being that exciting, I hope y'all enjoyed it despite that. 
> 
> Also, I would like to give a huge shoutout to everyone who has stayed with me thus far and has supported me and has urged me to (shouted at me to) take breaks and take care of myself. I love you all and thank you! This all wouldn't be possible without you!


	20. The Start of a New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: hospitals, talk of police, talk of gangs, talk of death and murder, panic attacks, slight suicidal thoughts, self-deprecating thoughts, mention of vomit, and implied family abuse.
> 
> As usual, if I missed any, don't be afraid to yell at me. Enjoy!

    I keep my eyesight set on the ground near the door, but the pressing silence tempts me to look towards the Prince family and look for their reactions. I continue to stare at the white floors and the silence grows heavier and heavier until Logan clears his throat. 

    “Well, I think I can speak for all three of us when I say that you are one of the strongest persons I have ever met. I admire your strength greatly, it is a commendable trait.” I swear I get whiplash from how quickly I look towards Logan. He looks nothing but honest. 

    “I-what?”

    “Hey kiddo, can I give you a hug?” I nod my head mutely and soon I enveloped in warmth and for the first time since mom died, I allow the tears in my eyes to fall. Soon enough, I’m curled up in Patton’s lap with his hand in my hair and both Logan and Roman on either side of me. 

    And for the first time in my whole life, I feel like I belong and that I’m loved. With that thought, I just start crying harder.

    “But, why? Why are you guys still here? I’m so broken, I don’t deserve you all.”

    “Falsehood. If anything, we are the ones who do not deserve you. You are nothing but strong and determined. You have made all three of us happier. You deserve nothing less than unending love and acceptance. We can try and provide you with it, however, I feel as if we will fall short,” at Logan’s words, I hide my face in Patton’s shirt and start crying harder. I hear Logan mumbling about saying something wrong and that cracks something in me. I throw myself at Logan with several ‘thank you’s falling from my lips. Logan tenses up and fear courses through me, I’ve done something wrong. I’m about to pull away when he awkwardly pats my back and pulls me closer. 

    My sobs start to stop and my trembling slows down and I feel tiredness setting in. I try to stifle a yawn, but Patton sees it. 

    “Hey, Virgil, let’s get you to bed, okay?” I nod in response. Patton shoos Roman off the bed and Logan helps to shift me back under the blankets. 

    “Alright, Logan and Roman are gonna head back home and I’m going to stay overnight at the hospital with you. I’ll be in the waiting room so you can have some quiet, alone time,” Patton tucks me in as he talks and Logan and Roman walk out. 

    “P-Patton, wait! Please don’t leave me alone. I don’t want him to come back for me. Please. I can’t be alone.”

    “Of course Virgil. Do you want me to sit on the chairs or do you want me back on the bed with you?”

    “If you wouldn’t mind, could you be on the bed with me?”

    “I wouldn’t mind it at all. Like Logan said, unending love. We’re here for you.”

    “Thank you, Patton.” Once I’m safely wrapped in Patton’s arms, I let out another yawn and close my eyes. 

 

    I slowly wake up, but when I do, I’m nice and warm. I open my eyes in confusion to see Patton holding onto me, similar to a Koala. I let out a little laugh at the thought. Patton just snuggles closer. 

    Early morning light brightens the room and shows the empty chairs where Roman and Logan sat yesterday. I try to wiggle out of Patton’s embrace, but he just holds on tighter. I sigh and resign myself to being stuck in his arms until he wakes up. And knowing Patton,  _ after  _ he wakes up as well. 

    After a few minutes, I get my arm out of Patton’s grasp and I grab the TV remote sitting on the little table next to the bed. I turn on the TV and lower the volume. I’ve never really watched much TV, so I just flip through channels. I don’t know what to watch, but one black and one show catches my eye. I set down the remote and focus on the screen. 

    It turns out that the channel I picked was playing an older looking show called I Love Lucy. The humour isn’t the best, but it’s entertaining enough for now. I can’t help but think that Roman would probably like this show. He’d laugh at the jokes. 

    I don’t know how much time passes, but eventually, speak of the Devil, Roman bursts through the door, followed by an out of breath Logan.

    “Roman, there is no need to run down the halls like a child. You are almost an adult, act like it.” Roman responds by throwing himself in a chair and huffing. All the noise wakes up Patton and within a few seconds of him waking, he’s detaching himself from me with a slightly pink face.

    “Oh, sorry Virgil. I didn’t mean to snuggle you so much.”

    “Patton is a sleep cuddler, trust me, I deal with him every night. And every day for that matter, he almost refuses to let go of me every morning. Getting out of bed is a daily struggle with him.”

    “Ah yes, the amount of movie marathons and cuddle piles papa pulls dad and me into are uncountable.” 

    “Sounds like a fun time.” 

    “The best time. Our movie marathons are amazing. You’ll soon see. We set up a blanket fort around our couch and then we make popcorn and get a bunch of junk food. Normally we watch something like Disney movies unless we’re being nice to dad, then we let him watch some documentaries with us. Although all three of us enjoy older comedies. Well, dad can tolerate them, which is good enough for us. We’ve watched movies like Better Off Dead far too many times. We also go to orchestra concerts a lot, dad really likes those. I do too, but papa gets bored halfway through. We don’t go out to see live theatre much, just cause it’s too easy for papa to have an attack and it’s hard to help him in a dark theatre. Papa and dad both come to see all  _ my  _ shows thought. Oh, you can too! You’ll get to see Beauty and the Beast. Rehearsals are going really well and I can’t wait for our first performance. It’s in less than a month. Wow, I got really off topic, guess I started rambling there. Sorry about that.”

    “You can ramble all you want, Princey. I’m not really going anywhere any time soon.”

    “Actually, we had a discussion with your doctor on our way here and he said that he will be by later in the morning to talk with you and assess your health. Although he believes that you’ll be leaving this afternoon or early evening.”

    “Obviously this whole thing isn’t over though, unfortunately. There’s going to be a lot of legal issues to handle. But before that, we’re going to go home and eat cookies!”

    “Maybe only one for Virgil, his systems may still be delicate. We should also make an effort to eat a healthy dinner.”

    “Aww, dad, does that mean no pizza?”

    “No pizza. Maybe some rice?”

    “Rice doesn’t taste as good as pizza.”   
    “At least we can make some cookies, Roman. Your dad doesn’t have to help if he just wants to be healthy.”

    “I never said we couldn’t have cookies, just no pizza for dinner. It’ll be too much for Virgil.”

    Logan and Roman continue to argue over what is best for me to eat and Patton occasionally commenting, but their words start to fade. I can feel my heart rate picking up and hear the monitor beeping fasted. They don’t need to fight over this. Over me. I’m already ruining their lives. They’re arguing over me. They should have just left me with the gang. Hell, I should be in prison. 

    “Virgil?”

    Don’t they know what I’ve done? They should have just left me in that fire. I don’t deserve to be here. Not with them. I’m the cause of murder. I basically killed someone. I should be locked up. Why am I even in the hospital, I deserve what they did to me. I mess up everything. My mom died. Deceit died. Those were both my fault. 

    “Virgil.”   
    They need to lock me up. I’m a murderer. I’ve done so much bad. I’m ruining the Princes lives. I shouldn’t be here. Why am I even here? I don’t think I’ll ever see what they see in me. One day they’ll stop seeing me that way. Then they’ll kick me out like they should have when they first met me.

    “Virgil!”

    Someone is saying my name. I’m not sure who. 

    “Virgil, can you hear me?”

    That kind of sounds like Roman. Wait, he asked me a question, I should answer him. I give him a quick nod. 

    “I’m gonna touch you now. Could you give me another nod if that’s okay?” I nod my head again. I feel his hands touch my arms and I realise that my eyes are closed. I force them open and I’m greeted with Roman’s concerned gaze directly in front of me. 

    “Is it okay if I hug you?” I give one more nod and I’m surrounded by his arms. I forgot how much I miss his smell. As weird as it sounds, he smells so nice. My old house always smelt of alcohol and grim and vomit and just bad stuff. Roman smells so clean and safe. He smells of his leather jacket and cologne. I breathe deeply and relax in his arms. He lays us both down and I sink into him even more. 

    “Hey, Roman? Where did Logan and Patton go?”

    “Um, papa had to step outside. The arguing was a bit much for him and then you having an attack kinda set him off.” I look away from him in shame. God, I caused Patton to have an attack. I really am messing up their lives.

    “No, hey, look at me. It wasn’t your fault.”

    “How?” I cringe at how broken and pathetic my voice sounds.

    “You can’t control the attacks, it wasn’t your fault you had one and it wasn’t your fault papa had one. If anything dad and I should have known not to argue, but that’s beside the point. You aren’t to blame for this and we want you in our lives. So don’t even think of trying to leave.” At Roman’s words, I snuggle further into his chest with a small smile on my lips. 

    After several minutes, Logan and Patton walk back into the small room. Patton sits down in a chair, but Logan remains standing. 

    “Well, it certainly seems like this will not be an easy journey from here on out, but it will definitely be worth it.” Roman tightens his arms around me at Logan’s words, almost as if to say ‘I told you so’. I roll my eyes at him, but my smile grows just a little bit bigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I didn't actually plan on updating today. But I was at work earlier today and I felt like writing for this and I went home and I have just spent the past like 5-6 hours doing a mix of cooking and writing and eating and editing. And because it's still technically Sunday for me, why not just upload it. 
> 
> Also, take a shot for every time I say 'and' in this. I love how I'm a writer and yet, what is grammar? 
> 
> Okay, one more thing and I'm done: I know I try to look through the accounts of the people who comment and I like to see if any of you guys write anything, but I don't always have the time and I miss a lot of people. But I do spend probably far too much time reading, so if anyone has written anything, please feel free to let me know because I would love to read it. 
> 
> THANK EVERYONE FOR SUPPORTING THIS STORY IN WHATEVER WAY YOU DO!!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!


	21. The Beginning of the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: hospitals, doctors, scared of sleeping alone, mention/talk of rough childhoods, minor panic. Honestly, this chapter doesn’t have much bad stuff in it and if you’ve made it this far, you should be good.

    My day passes in a blur of talking to the police and talking to the doctors and talking to the fancy legal people and reading things and signing things and planning things and just a lot of things. I barely remember any of it even happening. By the time 5 o'clock hits, I’m tired and grumpy and everyone just needs to fuck off. But Roman and Logan and Patton are by side through the whole ordeal, which makes things just a little bit better.

    Since my last hoodie was destroyed, Logan left at some point during the day and picked me up a new hoodie, after he had seen how anxious I am without it. This one has some purple patches on it and I fall in love with it instantly. I haven’t taken it off after I put it on. I also haven’t left Roman’s arms yet. We’ve been cuddled together all day. I couldn’t ever ask for anything more.

    But part of me feels guilty. I mean, being separated from him for so long certainly didn’t help my crush on him to go away. If anything, having him literally save me from that fire made it worse. I feel like I’m stealing cuddles from him or something. He probably wouldn’t hold me like this if he knew I liked him like that.

    “Quarter got your thoughts, dark little storm cloud?”

    “Quarter? Isn’t it a penny?”

    “I’m pretty sure your thoughts are worth at least a quarter.”

     “I’m pretty sure my thoughts aren’t worth even a penny.”

    “That’s nowhere near the truth. You rarely share what you’re thinking, I’m always curious about what thoughts are in your pretty little head.”

    “Why would you want to know what I’m thinking? It doesn’t matter that much.”

    “Virgil, we’ve had this conversation many times before. I want to know what you’re thinking. Your thoughts are always interesting.”

    “Well, I guess I’m just thinking about this whole situation. It’s just-it’s just a lot. Only a few months ago, I was alone with who I thought was my dad and I had no hope or dreams or anything. I knew I was just going to grow up and join the gang or whatever bs. I knew I would never have freedom. And then everything just got worse and I thought I’d never see the light of day again. But here I am. I’m free, finally free. This is what I never even dared to dream of for years, yet now that I have it, I don’t know what to do with it.

    “I’m going to have to decide what I want to do with my future myself. Like, do I go to college? Do I get a job? Can I get into college? I haven’t necessarily been in school all that much. What would I even do in college? And oh god, school. I have to go back there. Fuck, our project. I didn’t help you finish and we didn’t get to sing it together.”

    “Hey, don’t worry about the project. The teacher understood. All of your teachers understood. Patton, Logan, and I met with all your teachers and other administration to explain the situation. None one is holding the days you missed against you. They weren’t your fault. And we got a 100% on the song by the way. If you really want we can still sing it just for the teacher once you get back. On the topic of you going back, don’t worry about it, I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”

    “That would be nice, I feel like since that’s how we met and eventually got me here, it’s only right to sing it properly. And Roman?”

    “Yes?”

    “Thank you. For everything. I don’t come anywhere near deserving all your help, but I’m not sure what I would do without it.”

    “Of course, friendo. That’s what I’m here for.”

    “Roman, Virgil, we will be leaving momentarily. If you two would like to get ready to go, Patton and I will wait in the waiting room. Virgil, Doctor Jamahl will stop by to give you one last check and he will then give you instructions for your medication and overall recovery.” Logan leaves almost as quickly as he came.

    “I guess we should get ready. I’ll grab your clothes real quick.” We spend the next several minutes getting me dressed and gathering our stuff from around the room.

    “Damn Princey, you weren’t the one staying here and I was only in here for a few days. How the hell is your stuff everywhere?”

    “Look, I am too fabulous to be contained to a small section. My glory must be spread!”

    “I’m pretty sure that isn’t how your hairbrush ended up under a chair.”

    “Well, fight me. I’m a messy person, is that what you want to hear?”

    “Yes, thank you very much. Do you finally have all your crap?”

    “Yeah, yeah. It’s all in my bag. You ready to go?”

    “Yep, just gotta wait for the doctor.” The two fall into playful banter until Doctor Jamahl comes in.

    “Alright, Virgil, just remember to take it easy, don’t push yourself too far. Your body is still a little fragile. And make sure you’re taking your meds. Other than that, I think you’re good to go, kid.”

    “Thanks.” After Jamahl walks back out of the room, Roman helps me up and we then head towards the waiting room together. Patton and Logan stand up and we all start making our way out of the hospital.

    “Who is ready to bake some cookies?”

    “I definitely am! Can we make snickerdoodles? Virgil, have you ever had a snickerdoodle?”

    “Not really, I don’t know if I’ve ever really had a proper cookie before.”

    “Scratch the snickerdoodles then, we’re making plain chocolate chip cookies for you to have.”

    “Sounds good Princey. I can’t wait.” We get into the car, Logan driving, Patton in the passenger seat, and both Roman and I in the back together. The drive to the Princes house is mostly quiet other than Roman singing along to the radio.

    Logan pulls into the driveway and we walk into the house. I follow Roman upstairs to his room, I sit on his bed as he puts all his stuff away.

    “Virgil, one of the guest rooms downstairs is your new room. We’re gonna go shopping for stuff for you to fill your room with soon. We’ll also get you new clothes and everything else you need. In the meantime, you can borrow whatever I have. Anything in the house is yours. Well, except for whatever was in dad’s study. That’s the only part of the house that was affected by the fire, so don’t go in there. Once it’s finished being rebuilt and everything, you can go in there.”

    “Was there anything important in that room?”

    “Not really, dad’s laptop was at his office at his work. The only thing dad might be   upset about losing is some artwork I made for him when I was younger. But I for one am not upset to see that go.”

    “Well that’s a relief. I’m still sorry about that by the way.”

    “Don’t be. You didn’t start the fire. It’s not your fault in anyway.”

    “I still feel like I could have done something to stop it from happening.”

    “There was nothing you could have done. And either way, it’s in the past. No use dealing on the past. How about we go bake those cookies instead?”

    “Sounds like a plan. We wouldn’t want to keep Patton waiting.”

    “Yeah, you know how papa is with his sugar.” I follow Roman back down the stairs and into the kitchen. Patton already has most of the ingredients pulled out.

    “Let’s get this party started! Virgil, will you help me pour and mix materials? And Roman, can you get the rest of the materials out and then measure everything?”

    “Of course, papa.”

    “Yeah, Patton. What do you want me to do first?”

    After about an hour of dancing and making a mess, the trays of cookie dough are in the oven. Roman is asleep in a chair with his face smashed into the island.  He started to doze off after Patton found out that I have never cracked an egg before and decided to give me a full lecture on egg cracking techniques.

    As Patton cleans up, I sit next to Roman and space out.

    “You know, you’ve been really good for him.”

    “What?”

    “For Roman, I think you’ve helped him a lot. He seems so much happier when you’re around.”

    “Me? That’s ridiculous. I feel like he just puts up with me out of pity.”

    “No, he smiles so brightly when he sees you. He really likes you. Though I hate the situation, I’m so glad you’re in our life and you’ve become apart of our family. And I know Roman wholeheartedly agrees.”

    “But what good could I possibly do for him?”

    “Roman had a bit of a rough childhood.”

    “Yeah, he told me about it all.”

    “Well, he has a hard time opening up to people about things like that. It doesn’t help that none of his friends have ever really been through anything similar. Most of them have high school problems. Which isn’t a bad thing, they just don’t understand what it’s like. You just being here and understanding has already done so much.”

    “I really don’t think I’ve done that much.”  
    “I know you may not see it, but he really is so much happier when you’re around.” I don’t even have the slightest idea on how to respond. All I can think about is the first time I was at this house and I was looking at Roman’s wall of pictures. So much has changed from then, maybe I do make him smile like he was in those pictures. There’s a warm feeling in my chest and I can’t help but feel a little proud.

    The oven timer going off startles me from my thoughts and wakes Roman up. Patton stops humming whatever song he was humming and turns the sink off. He puts on oven mitts and pulls the trays out of the oven while I laugh at Roman’s very confused face.

    “Finally decided to join the land of the living, huh?”

    “Oh, fight me.”

    “I’d much rather try a cookie, so maybe another day.”

    “Speaking of cookies, the best way to eat them is with a glass of milk while we’re in pjs. Come up to my room with me and we can get changed. You need the full cookie eating experience.”

    “Alright, Princey. Let’s go get changed.” Roman takes my hand and pulls me upstairs, Patton’s laugh fading behind us.

    Once we’re in Roman’s room again, he pulls out two pairs of pj pants, he tosses me the Nightmare Before Christmas ones and keeps the pair that’s covered in theatre masks.

    “Of course you have theatre pj pants.”

    “What’s that supposed to mean?”

    “I guess it’s just very you.”

    “Okay? Anyways, I’ll grab you a t-shirt. I know you’ll want to keep wearing your hoodie, but you can wear it under to help keep you warm.”

    “Alright, thanks.” He pulls out a t-shirt from some theatre production called Avenue-Q. Roman really never takes a break from theatre.

    I turn around and change quickly. After we’re both done, Roman puts our clothes in his hamper, and we head back downstairs. Patton has two plates with a few cookies on them with glasses of milk next to them.

    “Be careful boys, they’re still a bit warm.”

    “When has that ever stopped me? The hotter the better!”

    “Roman, don’t hurt yourself.” I watch Roman sit down, pick up a cookie, and dunk it in his milk. I hesitantly sit down next to him and do the same. The cookie melts in my mouth and oh god this is the best thing I have ever eaten.

    “This is better than pizza.”

    “Virgil! You betray me.” I don’t even have it in me to react, I just finish the cookie as fast as I can. Within moments, the three cookies that were on my plate are gone. I look up at Patton, silently asking for more.

    “No more, Virgil. You’ll get a stomach. And besides. Logan is making chicken noodle soup for dinner. You wouldn’t want to be full before then.”

    “Papa, is it the one with the stars?”

    “Yes. It’s the only chicken noodle we have since both you and papa insist on buying it every time we’re at the store.” Logan shoots his husband a fond smile as he walks into the room. Logan begins pulling things out of the pantry and making the soup, Patton finishes cleaning up from the cookies, and Roman goes into a tangent on why the chicken noodle soup with stars is the best soup.

    By the time Logan has finished making the soup, Roman has launched himself into a tale of two kingdoms fighting over which type of soup is the best, complete with him jumping on the island to show what’s happening in the story. I’m trying my hardest to stifle my laughs at his antics, but I know there’s a huge grin on my face. The rest of dinner passes much the same way.

    By the time everyone has finished their soup, Roman has finished his tale, and I’m ready to fall asleep. I bring my dishes to the sink and offer to do them, but Patton shoos me out of the kitchen. Roman brings me up to the second floor and shows me my room. He wishes me goodnight and heads to his own room. I close the door behind him, turn off the lights,  and climb into bed.

    Within minutes, I can tell I won’t be falling asleep anytime soon. I climb back out of bed and head up the stairs to Roman’s room. I softly knock on his door before I can start over thinking what I’m doing. After a few moments, I turn around, ready to head back down but the door opens.

    “Hey, Virgil. Do you need anything?”

    “No, not really. I mean kinda. I guess I just couldn’t fall asleep and I don’t know but I don’t really want to be alone right now and I was maybe wondering if I could sleep with you. But don’t worry, it’s stupid anyway, I’ll just go back to bed.”

    “No, hey, come here. Of course you can sleep with me. I’d feel more safe knowing where you are. This way I know I can protect you.”

   “My knight in shining armour. But for real, thank you.”

   “Anytime my dark little thunder cloud. Now, come on in here.” I follow Roman inside his room and into his bed. He lifts the blanket up for me and I hesitantly burrow in. He pulls me in closer and soon I’m laying snuggly in his arms. He starts humming a song under his breath and running a hand through my hair. And this time, within moments, my eyes are closing and my brain is filled with happy thoughts of my future here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, looks like it’s been over a month. Sorry this isn’t longer or more action packed. But I guess it’s something? I mean I did post some Halloween one shots so I have been working on some stuff over the past month. Maybe I’ll do some Christmas one shots for December. We’ll see.  
> Anyways, I snuck a little Avenue-Q thing in with the t-shirt because my old school did the pg-13 version of it and it has hoenslty been one of the funniest things I’ve ever been apart of. And I do personally own that T-shirt. But please listen to the soundtrack, it’s amazing.  
> Alright, I shall see you next time. Whenever that is.


	22. Fun at the Mall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: past child abuse, mentions of murder, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of passing out, mentions of arresting people, and I think that's it.

    We’re going shopping today and I’m kinda nervous. I don’t want the Prince’s to spend too much money on me, or any money for that matter. But both Patton and Logan are so stubborn. It’s not like I’m not grateful, I just don’t need a lot. It’s not like I’ve ever had that much anyways. Why change that now?

    I woke up with Roman this morning, he was actually up before me for once. Well, to say I woke up with him is not entirely true. I woke up _to_ him. For some ungodly reason, he decided that blaring The Lion Sleeps Tonight and bouncing on the bed at 7 in the morning was a good idea. But he did promise to do my makeup and he did keep that promise. So now I’m sitting in the Prince’s car in Roman’s old ripped skinny jeans, my hoodie, and a full face of makeup.

    “Dark and edgy, just like you,” Roman had said. Patton really loves it. I guess I do too. I feel more hidden and powerful at the same time. I think the makeup’s going to help make this trip a little bit easier.

    We pull into the mall parking lot and Roman and I step out of the car. As soon as my feet are on the ground he’s pulling me toward the automatic doors.

    “I’m taking you to Hot Topic first. You’re going to love it.”

    “I have heard of it, but I never really thought I’d go inside it.”

    “Well, today’s your lucky day! Come on, let’s go!” Ramen grabs my hand and pulls me toward a dark looking store.

    We spend hours roaming around the mall, getting clothes and new school supplies and anything that I look at fondly that Patton and Logan insist they buy for me. We stop by some apparently popular store, Roman claiming he finds cute tops there every once in a while. As soon as we enter the shop he dashed off. I find myself looking through some of the racks of clothes. Somehow I find myself in the women’s section. No one else seems to be here (bless the Princes for deciding to come on a school day when the mall is mostly empty), so I see no harm in glancing around. I look around for a little while before my eyes settle on a piece of dark purple fabric with a faint galaxy spread across it. I pull it loose from the other clothes surrounding it. It turns out to be a short, but flowy skirt. The fabric is soft to touch and I can’t help but feel a pang of longing. My face immediately darkens, I shake my head to rid myself of the ridiculous thought. I don’t even know where the feeling came from. I start to shove the skirt back where I got it from when I voice startles me.

    “Whatcha got there, Virgie?” I let out a very undignified screech and grab my chest with my hand to calm my heart at Roman’s words. I hasten to completely shove the skirt into the clothes.

    “Nothing. It’s stupid. We should go.” My face goes at least 10 shades redder. I’m ever thankful for the makeup probably hiding some of it.

    “It can’t be nothing if I managed to scare you so bad.” Before I can even protest, Roman reaches around me and takes the skirt back out. “Awww, Virgil! This is so cute oh my god I have the best outfit idea now. Go find papa and dad. It’s going to be a surprise. I’ll meet you outside.” I glance down to the skirt in Romans hands in fear but he shoos me off before I can verbalise any of my questions. I find Patton and Logan and explain the situation to them. Patton gladly walks outside with me, Logan stays inside to pay and within minutes, Roman and Logan are dashing out of the store with a big bag in hand. Roman declares the next store to head to and quickly takes lead. The rest of the morning follows similarly as we continue shopping.

    Around noon we stop by the food court, our arms covered in bags. Patton hands Roman a credit card and sends us off to buy food while he and Logan set all the stuff at a table. Roman brings me over to a Chinese food place and orders everything for us while he rants more about his theatre production.

    “And towards the end, I have to really quickly take off all my beast makeup and costume and change into the prince stuff in like what feels like 30 seconds. But there’s this really pretty part that the violins play during my change and it’s a bunch of super pretty fast notes. Honestly, our pit is super amazing and they all play such cool - where is dad?” Roman stops in his tracks as we reach the table.

    “He just had to take a phone call real quick, he should be back in a few minutes, save some egg rolls for him!”

    “Alright, do you guys wanna see one last store and then head home?”

    “Sure, Roman. I’m getting kinda tired so I’m okay with leaving soon.”

    “Then it’s settled, I’m taking you to Sephora. It’ll be great!” Roman devours his food and I eat all I feel I can. Before I know it, Roman is dragging me off again. We didn’t even see Logan during lunch, but my mind instantly short circuits as rack upon rack of makeup is brought into my sight. I’m sure my jaw drops open comically as I’m pulled into Sephora.

    “Okay, so foundation is a first because you are far too pale to use any of mine. Concealer is probably a good thing too. Since mine also won’t work. Some lipsticks of your colour choice, but black has to happen. You’re just that edgy. We’ll get you some eyeshadow palettes that fit your colour scheme and some brushes to go with that. A silver highlighter is a must, I really only use gold since it goes so well with my skin tones, but silver will look much better on you. I can’t believe I forgot a makeup sponge-“ his words go right over my head as look at all the makeup. So much colour. I never even thought I would want any of this. Makeup was never something I thought that much of, but I know I need to own some of my own makeup before the day is out. I follow Roman around the store in a daze. He puts a bunch of stuff on my hand that makes the skin sparkle. The basket in his hands slowly fills up as he finds stuff I assume he thinks fits me. It feels like only a few minutes before we’re checking out. Roman hands me the bag with all the makeup.

    “I - I don’t even know what to say. Roman, why would you do all this for me?”

    “Because you are worthy of it. And because if you’re hot now, wait till I get proper makeup on you. No one will be able to resist you.” I flush at Roman’s praise and dig my scuffed shoe into the ground.

    “But I don’t even know how to use any of it!”

    “That just means I’ll get to teach you. You’ll have the wonderful privilege of spending a bunch more time with me!”

    “Fine, but you have to convince your parents to allow me to help with some of the chores. I need to do something to help, I feel so useless right now.”

    “I’ll talk to them, but I make no promises. You know papa, he’d rather lose his kitchen than make someone clean it. He’s too nice for his own good.”

    “Alright, fair enough. Let’s go find your dads and head home?”

    “Alright, I think they’re still at the food court.” We walk back to the food court in silence and we find Patton and Logan sitting at the same table we were at before. They’re eating the last of the food and discussing something serious looking. It’s probably about me. I start walking a bit slower and Roman grabs my hand. He gives it a gentle squeeze and tugs me along a bit. I glance over at him and he gives me a reassuring smile. I take a deep breath and we finish walking towards the table.

    “Hey Roman kiddo, hey Virgil. Something popped up and we’re going to head home then Logan’s gonna head off. He’s got some business to take care of so we can do whatever we want, just three of us for the rest of the afternoon!”

    Patton and Logan stand up and Roman and I follow them back out to the car. The drive is quiet. Too quiet. I bounce my knee as streets rush by. Once we’re back at the Prince’s house, Logan doesn’t even come inside before he drives off. I follow Roman and Patton into the house and into the kitchen.

    “So, do you guys want to play a game? We can pull out monopoly or a deck of cards or-”

    “I don’t think we really wanna play a game right now papa. Where’s dad gone?”

    “Well, he got called down to the police station. He got a call while we were at the mall and all he would tell me is that something bad happened. He’ll call me once he has more information.” I glance down at my feet, knowing whatever happened probably has something to do with me. “Let’s make some hot cocoa and watch the Office, that always relaxes me.” Within a few minutes, Patton has Roman and I wrapped up in a blanket together on the couch with the theme song of Office playing. Patton puts a steaming mug of hot cocoa in my hands. Just as Patton is about to sit down, his phone starts ringing and he walks up to his bedroom and shuts the door behind himself. The silly comedy of the show washes into the background, I sip anxiously at my cocoa while my mind’s on overdrive thinking everything could have happened.

    After what feels like forever, Patton comes back down the stairs with a very serious look on his face, it doesn’t feel right. He’s normally so happy, he doesn’t look like himself without his smile.

    “Hey, Virgil? I have some news, not good news. Well, there’s some good news. There’s a lot of bad news though. I’m just gonna say it, is that okay?” I nod my head in response. “Well, your grandmother was found dead, she was killed actually. But the police were able to arrest a bunch of people. The only person they think hasn’t been arrested from your whole kidnapping thing, is your birth father.” I feel the cocoa slip from my fingers, the ground moves towards my face, and the world goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
>  
> 
> hi?


	23. A Heart Beat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: hospital, panicking thoughts, mentions of death, mentions of murder, slight suicidal thoughts

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Why am I even alive?

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Where even am I?

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

A hospital? Again? Why?

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

What even happened?

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Oh. Grandmother.

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

no.

 

Beep

 

Beep

Beep

Beep

 

nonononono, that can’t happen.

 

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

 

Not her, why her? Why me? When will it all end?

 

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

 

Could I just have one week, one fucking week, just to be?

 

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

 

Why do I keep killing everyone around me? When will the death stop?

 

Beep beep beep beep

 

Why am I so horrible to be around? Death is the only one who stays and doesn’t get killed or abandon me.

 

Beep beep beep beep

 

Fuck can I kill death?

 

Beepbeepbeepbeep

 

I’m going to accidentally kill death.

 

Beepbeepbeepbeep

 

The world’s going black, maybe I’ll finally die.

 

Beepbeepbeepbeep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

 

Beep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? I'm back with yet another chapter? What is this? 
> 
> Wait, the chapter is only around 150 words?
> 
> Nevermind that makes more sense.


	24. Love in the Hospital Air

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: hospital, mentions of abuse, self doubt, not eating

    “I know _you_ think he’s going to be okay. You always think people will be okay. But I _need_ him to be okay. I need-I won’t be okay without him. He’s become so much to me, he’s such a special person, I don’t know what I would do without him anymore. I don’t even know what I did without him before I met him.”

 

    “I would love some pizza, but I really don’t want any without Virgil, I’ll just wait here till he wakes up. I’ll have some cereal or something later.”

 

    “No, I don’t wanna go home. I can’t. I can’t leave him. I won’t and you can’t make me.”

 

    “I really don’t want the sandwich, dad. I’m really not hungry, I feel kinda sick actually.”

 

    “I’ll just skip rehearsal, let the understudy do the show, I don’t care. I’m staying with Virgil.”

 

    “Maybe my song isn't happy enough but I,

I see it take flight with the snowflakes above me

My coffee gets cold as I'm staring enthralled

At the snow that keeps falling outside

And traveling light is a curse and a blessing

For someone like me whose heart has gone missing

So get on that plane, as the snow turns to rain

And I'm writing your name on the clouds

And see you in London or maybe in Paris

Berlin will be waiting, and so will be Rome

And maybe I'll see you again when it's snowing in Venice

And I will be on my way home.

I'm dialing long distance with frozen fingers,

Double-oh-one and familiar numbers

You sound so strange, then I ran out of change

How are you dear, yeah it's still snowing here

Are you doing all right, are you lonely at night

Oh la Venezia

Mi fa cosi bene

Esco ogni sera e vado a ballare

Che ben atmosfera, che bellissima neve

Non ce proprio niente che mi posso mancare

Maybe I'll see you again when it's snowing in Venice

And I will be on my way home.”

    “That’s a pretty song, Princey. What’s it called?”

    “Virgil! What the heckity heck, five abs and one pec? You’re awake? You’re awake!”

    “I-what?”

    “Not important because you’re finally awake! I’ve missed you!”

    “Yeah, I suppose. How long was I out for?”  
    “Two and half days, the doctor said it was because of stress. He also said we should get you a therapist and anxiety medication. But he said he’d talk to you about that. Dad and papa are in the cafeteria, they’re getting lunch. I said if wait here in case you woke up. I didn’t want you to wake up alone. I’m probably rambling again, so I’m going to stop.”

    “Wait wait wait, two days?”

    “Yeah, well two and a half days.”

    “Okay. I need to stop passing out for days. What’s this about a therapist and medication?”

    “I kinda wasn’t really supposed to tell you about that. I wasn’t even supposed to hear about it. So let’s pretend like you don’t know about that.”

    “Okay sure. When was the last time you ate or properly slept? Cause you look like shit.”

    “Ah, well you see. I’ve mostly been here. Because I didn’t want you to wake up alone.”

    “So I heard, I heard a few things you’ve said. You’d be willing to give up your show for me?”

    “Well yeah. You’re so important me. Virgil, I don’t know what I would do without you. When we were first partnered up on that stupid project, I never thought we would end up here. But look at us, I never thought I could be so close to someone. Especially growing up with my mother. She was always worse to papa than me, but I spent several months with her when papa left, but she got custody over me till abuse was proven. She always told me that no one could love me. And I have my friends and they’re great and all but _you_ are more than I could ever ask for. I don’t give a damn about the rest of the world as long as you are okay. You’re so wonderful and I want to be by your side for the rest of our lives. After first meeting you, I think I started to crush on you. But you’re so much more than some stupid high school crush. And I know you probably don’t like me back, I’m more than willing to just be your friend, but I figured I needed to tell you because-“

    “Shut up Princey and just kiss me already.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gasp, another short chapter. What a shocker!
> 
> Honestly I kind of hate this a lot but I’m not rewriting it. I won’t even gonna has them get together yet but then it happened and I’m not even in charge of this story anymore whelp.


	25. So Close to Safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: references to abuse, gun, mentions to insanity.

~~~~We walk outside, Patton and Logan walking in front, Roman and I walking behind, hand in hand. I glance fondly over at Roman. His eyes trained on the sky and a happy little smile on his lips.

    Neither Patton nor Logan were surprised when they came back from the cafeteria to see their son kissing me. If they were surprised, they didn’t show it. In fact, Patton has had a sneaky smile on his face since he saw. 

    Roman and I had jumped apart when they walked in and he slowly got closer again as time wore on. Whether that was on accident or purpose is unknown to me. But I’m not gonna complain. Now here we are, walking into the bright, late morning sunlight, hand in hand. I haven’t stopped smiling since he first kissed me. My face feels like it’s going to snap in two. Although I’m appreciating it while I can, once I’m alone again, I know my thoughts will turn dark. They always do.

    But I’m pushing those dark thoughts off for as long as I can. I’ll wait until I’m at least alone. I have cookies to make with Patton, and Roman offered to take me on a walk tonight. Logan said we can wait until tomorrow to deal with everything. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m so thankful for the Princes distracting me. From both my own thoughts and from the rest of the world. 

   We spend the drive back to the Prince’s house debating what cookies to make. Well, Patton and Roman do. Eventually, they decide on snickerdoodles like they were going to make before. As soon as the group is through the door, Roman and Patton are making a beeline to the kitchen.

    The next several hours consist of flour flying through the air, Roman singing his songs for Beauty and the Beast (he still has the part for the beast, luckily), Patton taking photos, Logan grumbling about noise but continuing to work at the island, and I just laugh and smile the whole time. For once, I’m going to just have a good day. 

    After eating a lot of dough, I only have enough room in my stomach for two cookies. After finishing the cookies, Patton pushes us upstairs and tells us to get ready for a night out. Roman brings me into his room and pulls me over to all the shopping bags we hadn’t been able to unpack yet. He pulls out the skirt he bought for me early. 

    “What do you say, you edgelord?”

    “I can’t actually wear that outside!”

    “What? Why not? It’s cute and I know it’ll look even cuter on you.” 

    “But...I’m a guy! I can’t just wear a skirt!”

    “You can if you want to! No one can tell you not to. It’s not like there are any laws or anything against it.”

    “I guess you’re not wrong.”

    “How about this, you wear the outfit I pick out for you and I’ll wear whatever you want me to wear.”

    “Absolutely anything?”

    “Yes, of course.”

    “...fine.” I turn to Roman’s wardrobe and begin to rummage around. I pull out his normal leather jacket. I soon find a pair of white skinny jeans to go along with the jacket. A little more looking and I find just the shirt, a red crop top with gold and white lettering saying princess with a crown over the ‘i’. I walk back over to Roman and hand him a pile of his clothes. Once he’s taken his clothes, he puts a pile of clothes into my arms. Various blacks and purples and I definitely see the skirt in the middle of the pile. I head to the bathroom to change, I shut the door and start to look at everything he gave me. 

    “Hey Roman, how the fuck to put this on? What the fuck is this?” The only response I get is Roman’s laughter drifting through the walls. I look at the pile of clothes on the bathroom floor. I start by picking up the long things with a bunch of holes. After some further inspection, I come to the conclusion that they are some sort of weird pant things and I put them on my legs. After several, several minutes of getting my toes stuck in them and nearly giving up, I manage to get them on properly. In retrospect, I should have rolled them up to get them over toes. I’ll do that next time. I pick up the skirt and pull it on and zip it up. I look down and blush at how much I enjoy it. I twirl around a little and watch as the fabric twirls out around me. I turn to the rest of clothes and pick up the next thing in the pile, a black tank top. I give the lack of sleeves a slight glare and then throw it on. It’s loose enough that I feel comfortable, but it still fits. I pick up the last thing and nearly cry as soon as I realise what it is; my very own leather jacket. It’s almost identical to Roman’s, except mine is purple and black  instead of red and tan. I pull it on and it fits perfectly. The colour even matches the skirt perfectly. 

    I walk out of the bathroom and I forget how to breathe at the sight of Roman. We both stand there looking at each other, Roman’s makeup half done. 

    “You look, wow. I mean I bought the outfit for you, but I didn’t imagine how good you would look in it.”

    “Oh, uh thank you,” my voice stutters a bit as my eyes catch on Roman’s now exposed stomach and defined muscles. I swallow loudly and force my eye to move. “You look uh amazing. I mean you always look good. Now isn’t too different. But that shirt, I mean outfit is cute on you, I guess.”

    “You’re adorable when you’re flustered. I’m going to finish my makeup and then I’m going to do yours, okay?”

    “Yeah, yeah of course. Whatever you want.” I sit down next to Roman and watch as he finishes his makeup. He turns to me and my breath catches at how close he gets as he leans in to start putting stuff on my face. He uses the new makeup we bought and he explains it all as we go, but none of what he says sticks in my head. His beautiful face moves eloquently as he talks and I find myself getting lost in his green eyes. All too soon he’s pulling back and I’m transported back to reality. He stands up and I follow his lead. He moves back over to the shopping bags and pulls out a pair of shoes. Black boots, about ankle high. He helps me pull them on and tie them up, then we head downstairs. 

    “Oh my goodness! You guys look so adorable! Neither of you are leaving the house without pictures.” Roman slides next to me with a big smile on his face, I glance down at the ground, my face probably red with embarrassment. I hear the click of the camera and I look up. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Roman making the weirdest face. I look over at him and laugh at the pose he’s making. He pulls me to his side when he sees me looking. We look at each other, then we both quickly turn back to Patton , my blush getting worse. He snaps a few more photos, then he hands Roman some money and tells us to have a fun night. 

    I follow Roman to his car and slide into the passenger seat. He pulls out of the driveway, as smooth as I’ve ever seen him drive. He drives down some streets before speaking again.

    “I’m gonna take you somewhere special, it’s a Mexican restaurant. There are only two authentic ones in this area. One of them my mom used to take me to, the other she's never been to. At least to my knowledge. As you can probably see, I’m not fully white. My mom is Mexican actually. And before you ask, I do speak Spanish, so does Patton. Though he’s never been very good, he tries. Logan doesn’t actually, he has tried to learn over the years. But we don’t like speaking Spanish at home. Too many memories for Pa.” Roman stops talking as we pull into a parking lot. I get out of the car and follow him inside. It’s nice to see a more personal side of him. He knows almost all of my life, yet I still feel like I don’t know him. Being able to see this part of him makes him seem more real. More human. 

    We’re seated quickly and we both order. We spend the meal just talking, well mostly Roman telling stupid stories of his childhood. Like the time he broke his arm trying to fight a dragon in a tree and how it tried to hide in a dryer during a game of hide and seek. I slowly pick at my food while I get lost in Roman’s tales and eyes. I could stare into his eyes for years and not get bored.

    Eventually, we finish eating, we pay, and we head back to Roman’s car. I climb in the passenger seat and we pull out. To my surprise, we head the opposite way of the Prince’s house. I glance over to Roman, he’s looking at the road in concentration. 

    “Roman? Where are we going?”

    “I want to take you to the park I used to love as a kid. It’s gorgeous during sunset. You’ll love it.” I turn back to look out the window. The outside world flashes by and I can’t help but feel thankful I can see it again. To go from thinking I would never see sunlight again to being completely free really helps me appreciate the little things. Being able to live and live how I want is something I never thought would happen. Maybe I can go to music school or study LGBT history and become a teacher or help Roman with his theatre or learn more German and become a translator. The possibilities are endless. The world is mine. My thoughts taper off as Roman parks the car. 

    “Oh wait there, I’m going to be a gentleman!” I stay seated as Roman gets out of the car and walks around to my door. He opens it up and offers me his hand. 

    “Why thank you, kind Sir.” He pulls me up and out of the car. Both of us giggling and smiling. Once I’m standing, we both continue holding hands. He locks the car and we start walking away. 

    Late autumn leaves cover the ground and trees, some falling as the wind rustles the branches. We chase the last remains of sunlight down the worn path. After only a few minutes, we reach an overlook. I drop Roman’s hand and walk to the edge, looking out over the water. The setting sun makes the water look like it’s on fire. I grip the railing and I lean over to look even further down. The water splashes against some sharp rocks beneath. A breeze blows my hair out of my face. I sigh contently, the temperature is perfect, the sight is gorgeous, I feel free and powerful. 

    “Virgil!” 

 

_     No.  _

 

    Not that voice. Not here. Not now. I have to be making it up. I turn around to see Roman on his knees, his hands behind his back, a gun pressed to his head, and my father standing over him. “Well what a lovely coincidence. But really Virgil, I’ve heard a dangerous person is looking for you. You should be more cautious in public, lest a situation like this happens. Oh, wait. It already has.” Laughter bubbles out of his throat in a deranged way while dread and panic fill my mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops? Look I would apologise but I’m not that sorry.


	26. Just a Casual Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: there’s a lot of them, but nothing new. Suicidal thoughts, rape, crying, guns, there’s just a lot.

    “Virgil, you stupid child. You took everything from me. You took my career and my life. Everything, you stupid pathetic, insolent child. And now it’s your turn. You took everything from me, so I’ll take everything from you.” I can feel my legs trembling. Fear shoots through my whole body. 

    “So little Virgil, you have a choice now. Look how generous I am, giving you a choice. I want you to turn around and look down. You see all those big, sharp rocks way down there. I think if you decided to jump off you’d definitely kill yourself. And wouldn’t the world be much better off without you? You’re such a burden on those who ‘love’ you. And even more so on those who don’t, like me. Or this pretty little bitch can die. I’ll just shoot his brains out right here, right now. Do you think his blood would match his shirt? I think it would. I think it would even be an improvement.

    “You know, it’s probably a very good thing you two decided to walk down a path hardly anyone ever goes down. No one here to save you.” He pushed Roman to the floor and starts walking towards me. “It also means that before I take everything from you, I can use you one last time.” 

    I feel a tear slip down my cheek and then everything becomes a blur. I close my eyes and I focus on the sound of the water. I can hardly tell anything else is happening. It’s all out of focus and soft. I can’t even feel anything. My body doesn’t feel like it’s my own. 

    Muffled screaming reaches my ears and I fight to open my eyes. The world is suddenly moving and I can barely get my eyes open. The screaming is getting louder. I don’t know what’s happening. I manage to open my eyes and I see Patton and Logan. Logan is untying Roman and Patton is on the phone with someone. They all seem so far away and not real. 

    Everything is moving again and suddenly my feet are dangling above the water. Father’s white knuckled  hands are the only thing keeping me from falling to my death. He’s standing on the little cliff on the wrong side of railing. One wrong step or one slip of the hands and one or either of us dies. People look like they’re talking and Logan has a gun in his hand. Patton is holding Roman behind Logan. 

    “Go ahead! Shoot me! I have nothing left to lose! Kill me! And you kill this fucking brat too. That would be too good. The perfect happy little family murdering two people, my how the public would react to that. I see you calling the police. I won’t stop you. They can’t do anything. I’ll just have more of an audience. Someone will die before we all leave and I want the whole world to see.” I feel myself slip a little in his grip. I glance down to the crashing waves beneath me and I realise I’m not afraid. “No stay back, if you take one my step forward I drop him.”

    I glance at my father, then I glance at Roman, tears ruining his makeup. I can see him shaking in Patton's arms. I glance back at my father and I make up my mind. 

    “Please!” I hear my voice crack and I wince at how pathetic I sound. “Please just kill him. I don’t care if it kills me. Please. I'd rather be dead than live this life anymore. I’m tired of hurting the people I love. I’m tired of things just going more and more wrong. I’m tired. And if I can die knowing  _ he’s _ dead than I’ll die somewhat happy. Just shoot him and let me die please!”

    “Virgil, you know I can’t do that. The police will be here soon.  _ Just hold on  _ for a little longer. Just hold on.” ‘Just hold on’, what does he mean by that? Hold on? Logan doesn’t say things like that uselessly. Hold on. Oh he means it literally. I can’t give Logan the guilt of killing me. I know he’ll regret it. But if I hold onto the railing, I don’t have to worry about that. Can Logan really kill someone? 

    I make eye contact with him and nod. He nods back and turns back to my father. 

    “I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with. We are the Princes. We protect family and nothing can tear us apart. You are holding  _ my _ family and you will not hurt him any longer.” I hear the click of the safety on the gun and a smile spreads across my father’s face. Then Logan points it lower and shoots. Fear flashes through father’s eyes and I reach my hands out to grab the railing. 

    It happens in a moment, but that moment is enough. Father realises that Logan did something unexpected. And Logan realises that father is a quick thinker despite having no sanity left. The bullet goes into father’s leg, his grip on me loosens and I grab the railing. I smash into the side of the cliff and then I feel a weight yank me down. I hold on for dear life, but father grabbed my legs on the way down. I hear Roman shouting and sirens and people running, but all I can focus on is the shaking of my arms as I try to hold up so much weight. The water crashes dangerously beneath us. Rocks dig into my body. I feel my grip slipping on the metal rails. The world starts to go blurry again and I hear distant shouting and I know there’s movement and I think someone’s talking to me, but I’m not sure. And then everything just goes black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna make this one long chapter but I’ve been super busy and I wanted to give you guys something at some point. So take this short thing.


End file.
